The Five Worst Gimmicks in the WWE Today
Sure people talk about bad gimmicks across wrestling history, but what are the worst gimmicks in WWE right now?
In today's "realistic" atmosphere, with wrestlers supposed to be playing characters with personalities that are extensions of their own, it boggles the mind sometimes how some of these concepts make the cut or at least how they are portrayed.
Lets see what wrestlers test my patience.
Ok, so I had to Wikipedia this one as the last time I saw this guy in action was in the late 90s.
Goldust was actually pretty interesting for his time as he was the sort of wrestler you had never seen before. It was just kooky enough to work, and it did.
But somehow now he has developed a tourettes like stutter and teamed with Hornswaggle. Now, ok, I'm all for comedy and goofy comedy—but this guy is not funny.
However, whenever he does his little tourettes schtick on TV somehow it kills the audience. They can't help from laughing.
Goldust is the Eddie Murphy Disney movie version of a WWE superstar—funny if you're five years old or giggle if you hear the word "poop."
4. Ricky Ortiz
WWE has realized some of its characters are stupid, but rarely do they admit it.
Thankfully with Ortiz they have made it sort of an inside joke that his whole schtick with the rally towel is plain dumb.
I believe Edge had a backstage promo where he made fun of it and other times the commentators have cracked wise about the legend of that dumb towel.
Either way, if you want the guy to be a one trick pony where he comes on every three months to have someone call his towel dumb, that's fine. But seems like a waste of a talent to me.
I'll be the first to say I really like to see R-Truth in action. He's a great wrestler—not so great a rapper.
I mean, is he a rapper? I'm not clear. And if so, does he write any other songs? He's riding that one song more than Harvey Danger rode "Flagpole Sitta."
And why does he never enter through the backstage? Do they not let him back there? He's always walking through the audience rapping away, looking uncomfortable as hell as he's gotta rap, walk down stairs, and make sure some drunk 400 pound fan doesn't maul him in the process.
And that song is TERRIBLE. If you're trying to create a catchphrase why not go for something more original than "what's up"? I'm pretty sure its been done before.
Until something changes I'll continue to fast forward my DVR through his entrance until something less migraine-inducing comes out of his mouth.
2. Vladimir Koslov
This guys promos when he came over to ECW were some of the most horrible segments I've ever seen.
So he's some Russian army trained tough guy who has some sort of world domination plan? When he comes out his TitanTron has the red army marching and tanks rolling, WTF? How exactly is wrestling going to accomplish this?
And seriously dude, if you want to be imposing maybe don't walk out in your white underwear. He looks like a bloated Calvin Klein model.
He actually came out to do promos dressed up in army gear and looked pretty cool, why not wrestle in that? Seems like no-brainer.
I'm pretty sure the cold war ended awhile ago. Not sure why the WWE needs some red menace character around to "doyminayte de competytion."
1. Zack Ryder
Worst catchphrase ever in the history of humanity as we know it: WOO WOO WOO!
I don't understand why every heel these days has to be a egomanical, self-obsessed narcissist. Like a really crappy Shawn Michaels.
This guy has a dumb catch phrase, is always styling his hair for some reason and is missing a pant leg. I'm also not sure who he's fooling with those glasses.
Regardless, I absolutely cannot watch this guy. He has made all of us watching ECW collectively dumber for trying to figure out what the hell "WOO WOO WOO!" actually means.