Imagine the most lopsided battle ever. I’m talking about an absolute decimation.
Timothy Burke of Deadspin crafted this transcendent little GIF of what may be one of the most significant moments in modern dance we’ve seen in recent years.
The battle involved two Mavericks fans with widely varying styles. One fan’s movement and attire stated, “Make room for the master.” While the other’s shouted, “I take you to the froyo shop!”
And now, for your moment of Zen:
There are so many good things going on with this GIF that it’s difficult to know where to begin.
Let's start with the dancing cyclone in the Mavs jersey, who wears a single, white Michael Jackson glove and is completely oblivious to anything but his routine. He appears to have no idea he is up against Chad Chaswell (as I will refer to him from here on), who’s attempting to keep up with the moves.
Last, but not least, we have Chad’s lady friend in the far right. She hides her face, unable to metabolize the amount of embarrassment flooding her body.
Fittingly enough, Eddie Bauer fares poorly against New Era in a dance-off. Chad might’ve received a free fondue set with those khakis, but they didn’t come with dance instructions.
Jokes aside, this is exactly what the NBA needs right now. Racial tensions might be roiling in the front office and locker room, but fans of every stripe can still come together in the name of embarrassing each other through (less than) competitive dance.
All our worldly conflicts should be settled through dance battles.