By Sunday afternoon, the Easter Bunny had already accomplished spreading baskets of joy to millions, so it had more than enough time to delve into its other hobby: taking presidents out in a single bound.
That's when a random act of bunny violence takes place, coinciding with a super psyched announcer proclaiming, "Teddy's still got the lead. This could be a day for Teddy."
At this point, we know Teddy will not be winning this race.
As they head down to the finish line, the announcer, who is way too invested in this race, shouts, "It's a tight group of presidents now. They are coming right to the finish line. Ohhhhhh! A bunny's taken them all out."
Something tells me this was staged.
William Howard Taft, or "Bill" as he is affectionately called, is rewarded for bringing up the rear for most of the race, which really sends a bad message for baseball fans. The Houston Astros and Chicago Cubs aren't going to win their divisions because of some bunny savior, so stop hoping.
Bill was introduced prior to the start of the 2013 season, giving the Nationals five extremely large presidents to run around the field.
At the time, DC Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg had this to say:
While the team considered all sorts of presidential options, this was actually an inspired choice. Taft avoids all the messy political subtext that virtually any post-war president would have created. He has an intimate connection with baseball, having
started the tradition of ceremonial first-pitch tossing with a 1910 delivery before a shutout win by Walter Johnson at Griffith Stadium. He’s also widely credited with having accidentally created the seventh-inning stretch.
He's also very friendly with holiday bunnies. We aren't about to fully suggest the race was fixed, but we are willing to wager this Easter field invader may have voted for Taft.
Now use this information accordingly, because we assume next year's race will feature a Bill win and a bunny's ninja attack.
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