Five Reasons I Hope Kobe Falls Down a Well
Kobe—we all know your good. Most likely the best out there right now. You carried your team to an NBA championship, your fourth. You seem to be one of the most respected people in the game—almost no one can rival you.
I respect your skills and so does everyone else. You have changed the game in many different ways. For God's sake you have your own shoes. You seem like you'd be a great person to like and look up to. "But not I," said the crow. I hate you Kobe and I'm going to list off exactly why I hate you.
Kobe Doin' Work All Day on My TV
Let's say for instance I'm sitting at home watching TV (usually it's ESPN.) Now let's make the time period I'm watching TV sometime during those NBA playoffs. All I would see is: Spike Lee Presents "Kobe Doin' Work!"
How I hate you for taking away ESPN away from me. I would see you all the time. From your story of having no friends while growing up in France or yelling at Lamar Odem for making the best three-point shot you've ever seen. It's just annoying. Once is enough to see you Kobe, twice is to much, but three times? Three times makes me want to punt an infant.
What's Up With Your Face Kobe?
Really Kobe? Didn't your parents ever tell you if you make that face it'll get stuck like that? I mean, you look like an angry Keebler elf. We all know you made that three-point. Angry Kobe doesn't help your cause. This is nonsense—stop it Kobe.
Kobe Showing Off
I don't know how to link but dear God, look that up.
I don't know who he tells it to, but when he drains that free throw, he tells an opposing player to "suck his d***." Really Kobe? Suck my d** after a free throw? That's professional.
I Wish That Car Hit You
Really? I bet you feel proud. If this is real, it may be the stupidest thing I have ever seen done by a pro athlete. What if that car did hit him? We'd be watching "splat goes the Kobe." I wish that car would've hit you so those crappy hyper dunks never sold. God.
You are not the second coming of MJ. You are not, will not, and cannot be MJ. The fans hold you as the greatest thing ever. Best to play the game. MVP forever! Well the honest truth is, no he's not. There's better coming and there's better here. Let's name some: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Kevin Garnett, and Derrick Rose.
Rose isn't better now, but he will be.
So in an ending note, in the famous words of Shaqzilla: Kobe how's my a** taste?!