10 Ways to Calm a College Football Fan's Impatience for the Upcoming Season

Completely re-do a room in your house, decked out and painted for your favorite team. Do this over and over about 17 times to completely calm you down. If you do it a full 24 it will already be time for the season to start. Decorate with flags, a big fathead, pennants, a new paint job, bed sheets, closet, etc. You guys get the point.

WARNING: Doing this 26 times or more may result in a missed play or two of your favorite team.

Do this one to perfect every fact of your favorite team. Spend the whole summer practicing your college football teams trivia over and over again. By the beginning of the season you should know absolutely every fact that has ever existed about your university. If you have extra time and no job, perfect the trivia of every team out there.

WARNING: The overdose of reading facts about your team could result in the burning of your retinas.

Watch College Football live every weekday at 3:30 eastern time. While you're watching, watch out for compliments on your favorite team. When they do get a compliment, rewind it over and over again and see how many times in a row it makes you smile.

WARNING: Frustration of ESPN homers has been known to cause brain damage and the breaking of walls.

Every day until kickoff, go on your schools athletic site and look for any updates possible for the football team, refresh your page every five minutes for consistent findings. While you are at it, check how the women's golf team is doing, along with the pistol team.

WARNING: Your school may not have a pistol shooting team, but check for a rifle shooting team.

Every friday night up until football season, find time to go and sit outside your coaches house. Find out every fact there ever was about him to increase your creep status, this may help you in your quest for patience.

WARNING: If you get caught, I hope you do not mind spending time in jail or in a mental hospital.

Every night around your bedtime, sneak into your team's stadium and sleep there every night. While doing this run around the field as many times as possible without throwing up. Making friends with the security can't hurt you either. If this doesn't work out, just drive around the stadium over and over again every day until kickoff time.

WARNING: Do not get caught, if you do, explain to them that you are two-time heisman winner Archie Griffin.

Get your friends together, and go to a park everyday. While your at the park reenact every play of the previous season of every team, including all conferences. Do this until the season starts back up in September. And you can start again once it ends.

WARNING: Exhaustion in this activity has previously resulted in death.

One of these summer days, run through town completely naked chanting your rival schools name. This is so people are disgusted in your rival and in thus may become fans of your team. It is like reverse recruiting, but for fans.

WARNING: May result in an arrest, or depending on where you live, a horrible sunburn.

In this one you need to get some friends that are fans like you, make some homemade instruments, and have a singer. All because in this one you create a rock or rap band that exclusively supports your favorite team. Haven't you ever dreamed of having a rock band for your favorite team? Well, you can create your own dreams now!

WARNING: To avoid violent criticism, what ever you do, do not release this music to the public.

Go and buy the latest version of EA Sports NCAA Football, and start a dynasty mode. Make sure this dynasty is with your team. See how many times you can win a national championship in a row without rotting your brain or hurting your eyes. I had 27 in a row before my checkup and procedure on my brain.

WARNING: Like said in the description, this may hurt your brain, or like in No. 9, burn your retinas.