Zaza Pachulia and her teammates defeated the Boston Celtics to tie the first ever NBA/D-League playoff series.
After an awkward attempt to kiss Kevin Garnett (which led to technical fouls for Garnett, Sam Cassell, Joe Johnson, and Ms. Pachulia), the Hawks stumbled to their second playoff win against the NBA-best Celtics.
Garnett apologized for his actions following the altercation in which he elbowed Pachulia saying, "I've never hit a b*tch before... I'm sorry".
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David Stern, who was in attendance, was quoted as saying, "Atlanta? I thought this was Oklahoma!", before leaving the game in disgust. Stern's goon, NBA Vice President Stu Jackson, explained that Paul Pierce's $25,000 fine was for not slapping Al Horford after he made the rookie mistake of taunting one of the game's finest players.
The series is now tied at 2-2 and headed to Boston for Game 5. Yours truly will be on the scene to document this historic match-up between the NBA's best and the D-League's ... well, middle of the road.
Author's Note: Did you know that Zaza Pachulia is so bad that there's no Bleacher Report tag for her? You learn something new every day...
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4 months ago
Okay, so I'll just put this straight out there...
I've had enough of this fluky, "you ain't so bad" strut from the girls on the Hawks squad. And here's what I'm now supposed to believe after 2 completely freak-o games in Atlanta:
1) Josh Smith will be droppin' 28+ on yo' head each and every night with his oh so fundamental j-shot.
2) Paul Pierce will now shoot 50% from the line.
3) The C's will routinely score 17 points in the 4th quarter after leading by 10 at the end of the third.
4) That a multi-million dollar facility with a multi-million dollar maintenance budget on its first appearance to the most prime time professional sports stage on planet earth needs to verbally count down the 24 second shot clock and rely on some dude at the scorers table to toot his friggen' air horn when the shot clock expires.
5) The Hawks, a sub .500 team, now have "the momentum" and will take the league's best team out of the playoffs.
6) I should order my Eastern Conference Final "Hawks vs 76ers" party invitations now to get the early bird discount.
Honestly, this must be what it feels like after you spend the afternoon at Josh Howard's house during the offseason. Like I been burnin' tree or something.
I've seen and heard enough of all this garbage -- let's get this series taken care of.
Anyway, sorry for not directing the thrust towards Miss Pachulia -- but I had to get that off my chest.
4 months ago
haha Hilarious comment as usual Dennis. Nothing bothers me more than the b.s. with the air horn/shot clock. I wrote an article on it, but it was probably more angry than humorous.
Playoff tickets cost a ridiculous amount of money and for a team to not be able to fix an error like this with a two-day break is inexcusable. I say the Hawks get sent to the D-League until they can actually run a basketball game... and yes, I'm completely serious.
4 months ago
Obviously the Hawks aren't a "D-League" team. It's amazing what people will resort to saying when a team they were supposed to just walk all over rises up and plays them.
If Josh Smith played with this focus and drive every night, he'd score 25 points a game. Once this kid really figures out how to play, he's going to be an MVP candidate. It's not like he hasn't been stuffing stat sheets all year.
You think the NBA playoffs are the most prime time professional sports event? I guess you've never heard of the Super Bowl?
As for what's really bush league? It's the comments I read in this article regarding the Hawks and Zaza. Yeah, he gets elbowed in the mouth so he stands his ground, but he's a girl? Like I said, this is what happens when people start getting nervous about their team getting beat twice in a row by an opponent they deem inferior. They feel the need to start hurling insults that have nothing to do with the actual basketball played on the court.
4 months ago
Obviously the Hawks aren't a "D-League" team. It's amazing what people will resort to saying when a team they were supposed to just walk all over rises up and plays them.
If Josh Smith played with this focus and drive every night, he'd score 25 points a game. Once this kid really figures out how to play, he's going to be an MVP candidate. It's not like he hasn't been stuffing stat sheets all year.
You think the NBA playoffs are the most prime time professional sports event? I guess you've never heard of the Super Bowl?
As for what's really bush league? It's the comments I read in this article regarding the Hawks and Zaza. Yeah, he gets elbowed in the mouth so he stands his ground, but he's a girl? Like I said, this is what happens when people start getting nervous about their team getting beat twice in a row by an opponent they deem inferior. They feel the need to start hurling insults that have nothing to do with the actual basketball played on the court.
I mean, if the Hawks are D-League, then just what are the Celtics?
4 months ago
Obviously the Hawks aren't a "D-League" team. It's amazing what people will resort to saying when a team they were supposed to just walk all over rises up and plays them.
If Josh Smith played with this focus and drive every night, he'd score 25 points a game. Once this kid really figures out how to play, he's going to be an MVP candidate. It's not like he hasn't been stuffing stat sheets all year.
You think the NBA playoffs are the most prime time professional sports event? I guess you've never heard of the Super Bowl?
As for what's really bush league? It's the comments I read in this article regarding the Hawks and Zaza. Yeah, he gets elbowed in the mouth so he stands his ground, but he's a girl? Like I said, this is what happens when people start getting nervous about their team getting beat twice in a row by an opponent they deem inferior. They feel the need to start hurling insults that have nothing to do with the actual basketball played on the court.
4 months ago
Obviously the Hawks aren't a "D-League" team. It's amazing what people will resort to saying when a team they were supposed to just walk all over rises up and plays them.
If Josh Smith played with this focus and drive every night, he'd score 25 points a game. Once this kid really figures out how to play, he's going to be an MVP candidate. It's not like he hasn't been stuffing stat sheets all year.
You think the NBA playoffs are the most prime time professional sports event? I guess you've never heard of the Super Bowl?
As for what's really bush league? It's the comments I read in this article regarding the Hawks and Zaza. Yeah, he gets elbowed in the mouth so he stands his ground, but he's a girl? Like I said, this is what happens when people start getting nervous about their team getting beat twice in a row by an opponent they deem inferior. They feel the need to start hurling insults that have nothing to do with the actual basketball played on the court.
I mean, if the Hawks are D-League, then just what are the Celtics?
4 months ago
Sorry about that. My computer/internet was acting really screwy.
from 4 months ago
Much like the Hawks.
from 4 months ago
Ben,
No worries, the Bleacher Report crew usually finds these extra comments and cleans them up. As for the article, it was an attempt to mock myself and other people who speculated that Boston would roll over such a young inexperienced team. If you check the tags on articles like this you might find one that says "satire". That's meant to explain to the reader that I am not being serious with the article but merely poking fun at the teams in the game as well as myself. Sorry if you misunderstood.
To be fair, I've always disliked Zaza and find him to be a bit of a whiny bitch, so I threw that in there because I was going to make fun of him even before the whole overblown "altercation".
To answer your question, if the Hawks are D-Leauge, then the Celtics would also have to be a D-League team (since the two leagues do not actually have inter-league playoffs). Therefore, the Hawks would be the D-League team with the worst record to make the playoffs and the Celtics would be the D-League team with the best record in that league. And this theoretical D-League playoff series would be tied 2-2 headed back to Boston.
As for being bush league... haha sorry if you think that. I've been rooting for a bottom-feeder for two decades now, and you know what, I've earned the right to look down on team that simply aren't as good as mine. Two more games and then the Celtics get past a surprisingly tough Atlanta Hawks team. Mark those words... you can take them to the bank. (Unless the NBA pulls a bitch move and suspends players for absolutely nothing)
4 months ago
no it wasn't its bleacher report's shitty updating of the comment system... you can never know when comments are posted :( anyway i hope the celtics get the shit beaten out of them... as long with the red sox... maybe you can guess where im from? good day all
from 4 months ago
Jack,
Always good to hear from the Evil Empire. It's nice to be on the stronger side of the rivarly for a change. Don't worry, your day will come (probably)!
haha But seriously, what would sports be without a historic rivalry to give you a team to root against in addition to rooting for your own team. Thanks for the read buddy!
4 months ago
yes, people can react to bad news in strange and awful ways, often acting and talking completely out of character. boston fans no doubt hit the jackpot this year, with stars coming together and a very solid bench all seeming to have one goal in mind. the celtics had an unbelievable season, i watched almost every televised game, and loved the chemistry of the big men, perkins, powe, garnett, they all play the same with and with the same intensity.
BUT- for an atlanta hawks fan, you can't take anything away from us this season either. we've got great players who aren't necessarily a good team, but they COULD be, and were for the last two home playoff games. they aren't D-league material, as some teams like miami and seattle should be demoted if there were any such demotions happening in the league. sure, you could say our franchise player is joe, but our heart and soul is BIG AL, and if he's on then he'll spread it around and make believers out of the whole country.
it was a thrilling end of the season watching the hawks slide into #8 and stay there, i was satisfied with that. these two wins against boston were icing on the cake. i even enjoyed the first two games IN boston, watching flickers and sparks of greatness that the C's extinguished expectedly.
boston fans should recognize a struggling team that had enough gusto to turn themselves into winners. what was it, 42 more games won this year than last? we don't have a big 3, but we do have a team with alot of heart in a town with, yes i'll say it, quite a few fairweather fans. so let us enjoy our "return" to greatness in a very talented and exciting NBA, turn your hatred to a team much more deserving, like the spurs or lakers. is there anyone nastier than robert horry (thank god he's been polishing the pine) or conniving as kobe bryant?
GO HAWKS!
from 4 months ago
Josh,
I hope you don't take my sentiment the wrong way. I was rooting for the Hawks right through the end of the season. Despite his comments about our fan base, I think Mike Bibby is a class act and never gives up no matter what the odds are. Obviously you have a core of much young talent.
There is a difference between hatred and satire aimed at a playoff adversary. Both teams are fighting for the same spot in the second round. For you to ask us (Boston fans) to respect the Hawks as a playoff team is perfectly reasonable. I wrote a satire piece against my team's first round foe. But it's a double standard to want to be respected as a team that earned a playoff spot and ALSO be coddled and babied because of a lesser record and little playoff experience. The Playoffs are where the big kids come to play, and everyone starts out 0-0. Right now Boston and Atlanta have identical records.
So for you to support a team who's star player calls out an entire fan base (not the team but the actual fans who pay ridiculous amounts to come and watch grown men play a game), but then get upset when I pick on a team that the Celtics are facing which has an identical record in the playoffs is... well, completely hypocritical.
I don't HATE the Hawks, but I LOVE the Celtics. My team just got its swagger back and I'm not going to hide my pride after displaying it through 20+ years of dismal times. Sorry, this moment is what it's all about for me. I can't feel bad about calling out a bitch move or two by an amateur who's playing against my team. But I appreciate your argument and the points you made Josh. Thanks for adding your insights!
4 months ago
it might be time to hit the panic button. ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA ZAZA
from 4 months ago
haha I can't take that name (or the "player") seriously. Thanks for trying to rabble-rouse though Pirate. You caught me watching youtube highlights of Appalachian State dismantling some school in Michigan...
4 months ago
As has been said before, the Hawks are definitely not a D-league team. They actually have a really good top 6 or 7 players, it's just their depth that sucks. I'm not saying their a dynasty, but they're definitely a talented team.
4 months ago
So two wrongs make a right?
Anyway, this is satirical:
"I say the Hawks get sent to the D-League until they can actually run a basketball game... and yes, I'm completely serious."?
No, I don't think so.
And your bit about hypocrisy makes absolutely no sense. So because he's a Hawks fan it's wrong for him to find fault with an article that completely disrespects a team who has happened to go toe to toe with you guys? What Mike Bibby said is irrelevant. Did HE make those comments? No, Mike Bibby did. So your point is, well, there isn't one.
For you to make comments about Zaza being a whiny bitch considering the fact that KG has acted similarly at different times would make YOU a hypocrit. The way he and PP run their mouths makes you a hypocrit for saying anything about what Bibby said, or for having any problems with any other player who runs theirs.
To be honest, of the "Big Three", Allen is the only one who still has my respect.
4 months ago
Ben,
I appreciate your attempt at helping me see your point of view. Good luck to your Hawks, they'll need it because the Boston Three Party isn't playing for other fans' respect... they're playing for a 17th Championship.
Enjoy Game 5 buddy!
4 months ago
Actually, those guys are playing for a 1st championship.
3 months ago
So how's that D-League team looking now?
3 months ago
Man, Andrew....Who's the b*tch now? Looks like your team is getting owned! Boston is suppose to make it out of the first round,right? Maybe they don't know it yet or maybe....they are getting OUT PLAYED! ya, they should win this series, but after that I think the road to the Championship ends for the Celtics...
from 3 months ago
um... still Pachulia last time I checked. Celts win game 7 by 25-30pts and then shutdown the outmatched Cavs before facing a Detroit team with similar problems (will go to game 7). I'm pretty sure teams are supposed to win home games, I'm not too worried, the Hawks did their part and the Celtics did their own. But thanks for the comment buddy. Nice to know Boston sports are still the best, otherwise, people wouldn't be creating names for Bleacher Report based on trying to knock us. haha I love being the sporting world's villains.
3 months ago
Overmatched Cavs team? Kinda like an overmatched "D-League" Hawks team, right?
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