Miselis Edition: The 10 Most Bogus Predictions for the 2009 NFL Season (Humor)

I was surfing through the internet and came upon a post on a message board that asked to name the most bogus predictions that people were coming up with.

I have come up with my own 10 predictions. These predictions will be NFL-related, but could be on or off the field incidents.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy.

No. 10: Jim Schwartz Wins Coach Of The Year

After the winless season by the Lions, they have brought in head coach Jim Schwartz to find a way to carry this team to new heights. He brings a great defensive scheme to the Lions, who had the worst defense in regular season history, giving up over 500 yards per game.

They have Calvin Johnson as wide receiver who will be effective. Kevin Smith and Brandon Pettigrew can be great performers as well.

Going 8-8 will give him the head coach of the year, especially since the Lions haven't had a winning season in many years.

No. 9: Wade Phillips Fired, Mike Holmgren takes over mid-season

As the Dallas Cowboys enter the new stadium, Wade Phillips will be on a short leash.

I see the Cowboys being in the middle of the pack in the NFC, third in their own division, that is when they will make a change.

They will bring in Mike Holmgren back on the sidelines!

Holmgren was going to take a year off, but he misses the game so much he feels he can't pass up this opportunity.

No. 8: The 49ers Will Win The Division With Alex Smith As QB

Labeled a bust, Alex Smith is trying to prove that he still can make a career out of himself and be successful in the NFL. He will get a shot with the 49ers, who have been disappointing the last few seasons.

With key losses in Arizona, two new head coaches in Seattle and St. Louis, it is the perfect opportunity for the 49ers to take the division crown back.

No. 7: Chad Ocho Cinco Will Not Perform A Dance In The End Zone

Chad Ocho Cinco has vowed to his organization that he is a changed man. No more tantrums, no more sitting out, no more blaming players.

But shouldn't this include no more dances in the end zones? Chad will have a productive year, but he sure won't be putting on a show like he has done in the past.

No. 6: Baltimore Ravens Nor The Pittsburgh Steelers Will Finish In Top Ten Overall Defense

Time can change in one season, and it will change for the two top defenses in the league.

With Ray Lewis " aging", Ed Reed facing nagging injuries, and the loss of Rex Ryan and Bart Scott, there is no way Baltimore will be a top-ten defense.

Even as defending champs and top defense, the Steelers will fall, by overlooking their season, and giving up a few more yards and points then they are used to.

No. 5: Dante Culpepper Wins Comeback Player Of The Year

Dante Culpepper is looking to become his old-form self. He lost weight over the offseason, gained a new head coach.

He has a few weapons in Calvin Johnson, Kevin Smith, and Brandon Pettigrew. Remember; if my predictions of the eight win season for the Lions happens, Culpepper will no doubt win the Comeback Player Of The Year award.

No. 4: Ray Lewis Will No Longer Do His Entrance Dance

Since Ray Lewis has been in the NFL, we all know he is remembered for his dance at M&T Bank Stadium before the game begins.

However, he is hanging up those cleats. After almost refusing to return to Baltimore, he feels it would be best to not let the fans of Raven Nation down again!

Don't worry Ray, I am pulling for you!

No. 3: After defeating the Jets twice in the regular season, Bill Belicheck To Crack A Joke At Press Conference

For everyone who knows Bill Belicheck, we all know how he rarely gives a smile at press conference, as he loves to screw with the media.

Well, after the recent trash talk by the New York Jets, I see him taking care of them twice next year. At the press conference, which will take place in New Jersey, for the first time ever he will crack a joke on Rex Ryan and Gang Green.

Oh, what a day! I can't wait to tune in!

No. 2: Brett Favre Will Stay Retired

How's Mississippi Favre?

After seeing Brett show second thoughts about the Vikings, it's possible he may actually stay retired. I can tell he is beginning to think what's the right thing to do about his legacy, which could near the end of a great career by No. 4.

No. 1: The Pittsburgh Steelers Will Not Return To The Playoffs

The number one bogus prediction on my list is this; the Pittsburgh Steelers will not return to the playoffs.

The AFC is going to be very tough this year, with a competitive AFC East, the Texans rising, and the Ravens trying to be near the top.

It would be the first in a long time that the Super Bowl champion has not made the playoffs.

Well, look for it to happen this year!