What’s more humiliating: Losing a game on a dropped pop-up, losing 15-0 or losing two out of three to the 2009 Washington Nationals?
After the apocalypse of facing the Red Sox and the Phillies, the Yankees and Mets turned to the apocalypse of facing each other, and it wasn’t pretty. Both teams were awful on Friday, the Yanks had no answer for Fernando Nieve (Fernando Nieve?) on Saturday and the Mets got completely embarrassed on Sunday.
When the dust settled it was one bad week for both teams. How many Luis Castillo drops, 15-0 games, blown saves and losing to last place teams can one fan take?
With a week like this, how can we have a Player of the Week? So here’s another all-Schmuck edition.
Luis Castillo: Who else could it be? We’re obligated to put Castillo here.
What went from one of the most boring, unmemorable, poorly played games turned into one that no one will ever forget. Castillo has never been a fan favorite (to put it mildly), but at least the hustle-challenged second baseman didn’t make any excuses or pull out Bobby Valentine’s old disguise and hide from the media.
We may even have a new verb – “Aubrey Huff castillo’d that pop-up in Tuesday’s game.” I still wake up hoping it was all a bad dream.
Brian Bruney: The biggest battle of the past week, though, was Brian Bruney vs. Frankie Rodriguez. K-Rod went ballistic on Bruney before Sunday’s game and was about to tear the Yankee a new one when teammates intervened.
Bruney ultimately backed down and apologized (through the media). Apparently, the reliever has never had his eyes open when teammate Joba Chamberlain goes through his fist-pumping, double-somersault routine every time he throws a strike.
Even Brian Cashman criticized his own player this week: “Brian Bruney lied to us about his arm, so he treated our doctors like veterinarians. It’s like trying to treat a dog, and the dog can’t tell you what’s wrong.”
Bruney was also overheard criticizing Mr. Met: “His head is too big, and his act of delighting and entertaining children is getting really tired. Who does he think he is?”
Joba Chamberlain: He was just downright awful on Friday vs. the Mets, hitting and walking batters left and right, and though he wasn’t terrible last night, he did lose to the Nationals.
Johan Santana: The Mets’ ace isn’t really a schmuck, but nine runs in three innings? That looked like batting practice he was throwing on Sunday. The Mets will go nowhere if there’s a problem with Santana.
Frankie Rodriguez: He blew his first two saves of the year this week (though one comes with a Luis Castillo-shaped asterisk). He couldn’t throw a strike last night against the O’s. Another defeat snatched from the jaws of victory for the Mets.
Alex Rodriguez: A-Rod went 2-21 in the last six games for the Yanks, with one HR and one RBI. And he would have hit the game-ending pop-up on Friday to continue his streak of un-clutchness if not for a play that comes along once in a century. He’s now batting .212 for the season.
Brett Tomko: He came into Friday’s game and let in four runs in .2 innings. I thought he retired about three years ago.
Mel Hall: The former Yankee got 45 years for raping a 12-year-old girl and sexually abusing and inappropriately touching three girls. That obviously goes beyond the schmuck category and is just plain sick.
Prison is where he belongs and thankfully where he’ll be. No Yankeeography for him.