Newcastle have lost their last three league games by an aggregate score of 11-0. Saturday's demolition against Manchester United was their fourth 4-0 defeat of the season and the sixth time they've let in three or more goals in 2014.
The problem lies in a lack of consequence for defeat. In recent weeks, the Magpies might have been aware that they can neither be relegated nor win anything. Last week's 4-0 loss to Southampton might have been the most pointless Premier League game of all time, with neither team chasing a trophy or fighting the drop.
The general impression is that the players are already "thinking of their holidays," with a depressing lack of spirit being shown in recent weeks.
Since the players have given up playing football and there's relatively little at stake, here are five fun tactics Newcastle could employ to bring the Geordie faithful some long-awaited entertainment...