Brian Wilson's Wild Mane of Hair Doing About as Well as His Young Season

Gabe ZaldivarPop Culture Lead WriterMarch 31, 2014

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 18:  Brian Wilson of the Dodgers shares a joke with a team mate during a LA Dodgers MLB training session at Sydney Cricket Ground on March 18, 2014 in Sydney, Australia.  (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)
Brendon Thorne/Getty Images

Brian Wilson's transformation into an actual Wookiee is nearly complete.

Sunday marked the Dodgers' domestic opener, pitting Los Angeles against the San Diego Padres. In the eighth inning, Brian Wilson came in with a 1-0 lead and quickly blew it, giving up three runs (two earned) on two hits and a walk.

You can read all about it in reports that are happy to overreact to early performances, but we want to really dive into things that truly matter, namely that mane of fur Wilson calls a head of hair.

Black Sports Online's Robert Littal culled some of the initial reactions many across the Internet had to Wilson's new hairdo:

Yes, Wilson is essentially Linkovich Chomofsky now.

GIF Credit: Giphy









Now there is some cause for concern for those fans who enjoy actual human beings pitching in games. Let's take a look at Wilson's startling transformation through the years.


SCOTTSDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY 28:  Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants poses for a portrait during the San Francisco Giants Photo Day at Scottsdale Stadium on February 28, 2006 in Scottsdale, Arizona.  (Photo by Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)
Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images


SAN FRANCISCO - JULY 1: Brian Wilson #38 of the San Francisco Giants pitches against the Chicago Cubs during a Major League Baseball game at AT&T Park July 1, 2008 in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images


ARLINGTON, TX - NOVEMBER 01:  Brian Wilson #38 of the San Francisco Giants celebrates after the Giants won 3-1 against the Texas Rangers in Game Five of the 2010 MLB World Series at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington on November 1, 2010 in Arlington, Texas.  (
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images


LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 11:  San Francisco Giants mlb player Brian Wilson arrives at the 2012 ESPY Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on July 11, 2012 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images


Rick Rycroft

Using scientific means, we have worked countless hours to extrapolate how this all might work out for Wilson. Based on our results, this is how Wilson might look and sound by season's end:

Postgame interviews will be tough, especially if he loses at Dejarik.

Wilson is coming off a resurgent, albeit brief, 2013 wherein he garnered a 0.66 ERA and 0.88 WHIP over just 13.2 innings pitched during the regular season.

Just a couple of games in, 2014 is proving to be far more tumultuous for the 32-year-old relief pitcher. Wilson isn't all too worried about it, though, via ESPN:

I’m not particularly used to having "one of those nights." Normally, it might have something to do with not making proper pitches. Tonight was about not being able to get ahead in the count, and they took advantage of it. Just forgive and forget.

Just a few games in for the Dodgers, it's far too early to get worked up about a meltdown from Wilson. It's best to sit back and enjoy the best (read: most ridiculous) hair in baseball.

Hopefully, with some tweaks and innings, Wilson will work his way back into classic form. While there is no guarantee in that regard, we are safe in assuming that Wilson will continue growing out every last follicle on his body until he is just one big hairball throwing baseballs toward home.


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