Brian Wilson's transformation into an actual Wookiee is nearly complete.
Sunday marked the Dodgers' domestic opener, pitting Los Angeles against the San Diego Padres. In the eighth inning, Brian Wilson came in with a 1-0 lead and quickly blew it, giving up three runs (two earned) on two hits and a walk.
You can read all about it in reports that are happy to overreact to early performances, but we want to really dive into things that truly matter, namely that mane of fur Wilson calls a head of hair.
Black Sports Online's Robert Littal culled some of the initial reactions many across the Internet had to Wilson's new hairdo:
Brian Wilson is looking swell. pic.twitter.com/v7lsCSbAaV— Matt Clapp (@sharapovasthigh) March 31, 2014
Brian Wilson AKA Undertaker. pic.twitter.com/qGVeqjxX3A— Los Angeles, CA (@DameonDenzell) March 31, 2014
Encino Man, is that you? pic.twitter.com/iVCzZ0NxIt— Dallas Latos (@DallasLatos) March 31, 2014
Yes, Wilson is essentially Linkovich Chomofsky now.
Now there is some cause for concern for those fans who enjoy actual human beings pitching in games. Let's take a look at Wilson's startling transformation through the years.
Using scientific means, we have worked countless hours to extrapolate how this all might work out for Wilson. Based on our results, this is how Wilson might look and sound by season's end:
Postgame interviews will be tough, especially if he loses at Dejarik.
Wilson is coming off a resurgent, albeit brief, 2013 wherein he garnered a 0.66 ERA and 0.88 WHIP over just 13.2 innings pitched during the regular season.
Just a couple of games in, 2014 is proving to be far more tumultuous for the 32-year-old relief pitcher. Wilson isn't all too worried about it, though, via ESPN:
I’m not particularly used to having "one of those nights." Normally, it might have something to do with not making proper pitches. Tonight was about not being able to get ahead in the count, and they took advantage of it. Just forgive and forget.
Just a few games in for the Dodgers, it's far too early to get worked up about a meltdown from Wilson. It's best to sit back and enjoy the best (read: most ridiculous) hair in baseball.
Hopefully, with some tweaks and innings, Wilson will work his way back into classic form. While there is no guarantee in that regard, we are safe in assuming that Wilson will continue growing out every last follicle on his body until he is just one big hairball throwing baseballs toward home.
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