With the NBA Draft fast approaching, mock drafts are popping up all over the internet.
But let's be honest—after the first few picks, you start to lose interest quickly. Who really cares about some kid from Lithuania who might be a decent seventh man five years from now?
Instead, let's address each team's needs and see what hottie we can plug in there that will perform at the highest level.
Because we all know you would rather see "pics" than "picks."
No. 1: Megan Fox—L.A. Clippers
Let's face it, the Clips are in disarray. Their front office is terrible, their coach is terrible, and they have to continue paying Zach Randolph.
The Clippers need a franchise player. That's why they need Megan Fox.
The hottest rising star in Hollywood would be right at home in L.A. and give the team the kind of star power it desperately needs.
No. 2: Taylor Swift—Memphis Grizzlies
The Grizzlies are considering taking teen sensation Ricky Rubio, but reports are that he's not so thrilled to play in Memphis.
So why not roll the dice with Taylor Swift? This teen sensation shows great potential, and she would be right at home in Memphis.
No 3: Marisa Miller—Oklahoma City Thunder
The Thunder are already a young team. They don't need some raw, unproven player like Hasheem Thabeet.
They need someone who has been there before, someone who can contribute right away.
Like Marisa Miller, No. 1 on Maxim's Hot 100 last year.
No. 4: Jamie King—Sacramento Kings
The Kings are awful. They had the worst record in the league last year, and they got screwed over by slipping to fourth in the draft.
They need some way to bring attention to their franchise. What better way than to draft the hottest King on the market: Jamie King.
The marketing practically sells itself.
No. 5: Ali Campoverdi—Washington Wizards
This hottie is already a fixture in Washington, serving as assistant to a deputy chief of staff in Obama's administration.
The Wizards need local talent like this for sure.
No. 6: Jessica Biel—Minnesota Timberwolves
The Timberwolves desperately need somebody that can score.
Jessica Biel is apparently playing a nymphomaniac in an upcoming movie this year. I would venture to say that she could score pretty easily and with frequency.
No. 7: Moon Bloodgood—Golden State Warriors
Golden State is a young team that still has a lot of growing to do. Just like they did with Brandan Wright and Anthony Randolph, they want to go with someone fresh, but with a ton of potential.
I present to you: Moon Bloodgood. This hottie held her own and more in the new Terminator movie as well, so I would say she is the perfect Warrior for this team.
No. 8: Salma Hayek—New York Knicks
Mike D'Antoni needs someone who can do a little bit of everything in his offense.
Salma Hayek has shown that she can do action, drama, and she is pretty hilarious on 30 Rock.
Plus they need someone with bigger boobs than Eddy Curry.
No. 9: Elisha Cuthbert—Toronto Raptors
People may assume that people in Canada care more about hockey than basketball, but Toronto fans are pretty crazy about their Raptors.
That still doesn't mean they can't give a little boost to their popularity by adding one of the hottest things to come out of Canada since free health care: Elisha Cuthbert.
No. 10: Olivia Wilde—Milwaukee Bucks
At this point in the draft, you have to start drafting the best available. So Milwaukee should reach out and snag the woman who topped Maxim's Hot 100 this year.
Olivia Wilde would be a steal here.
No. 11: Beyonce Knowles—New Jersey Nets
Not to play favorites, but there is no reason why Nets co-owner Jay-Z wouldn't act fast and pick up his wife in the 11th spot.
As we've seen in her videos, Beyonce has some sick moves that can stop men in their tracks.
No. 12: Diane Lane—Charlotte Bobcats
The Bobcats are the closest thing the NBA has to a cougar, so I thought that they should draft my personal favorite cougar: 44-year-old Diane Lane.
She's still got it. And then some.
No. 13: Malin Akerman—Indiana Pacers
The Pacers need height and athleticism, so Malin Akerman is the perfect fit. We all saw her athletic ability when she kicked butt in Watchmen, and she's got to be somewhere in the six-foot range.
And there is just no reason for Akerman to fall out of the lottery.
No. 14: Jessica Alba—Phoenix Suns
Unless the Suns actually unload Shaq on somebody, Phoenix should draft somebody that can keep up with his constant twittering.
Alba twitters on a daily basis.
Like you even needed a reason to pick up Jessica Alba in the first place.
No. 15: Hayden Panettiere—Detroit Pistons
The Pistons are starting to get old in a hurry. They need some younger talent.
They should pick up Hayden Panettiere, who turns 20 later this year. Not only that, but she could also double as one of their cheerleaders.
No. 16: Vanessa Hudgens—Chicago Bulls
With all of the drama surrounding Derrick Rose, with the SAT scandal and the picture where he is throwing up a gang sign, the Bulls need someone that can relate to their young star.
Vanessa Hudgens is certainly no stranger to controversy. The High School Musical star got caught sending naked pictures to her boyfriend over the internet. If anybody knows how Rose feels, she does.
No. 17: Eva Mendes—Philadelphia 76ers
With Andre Miller looking to head off to free agency, the Sixers need someone who can produce right away.
Eva Mendes is a proven winner—and in the city of brotherly love, who in the world doesn't love Eva Mendes?
No. 18: Kate Beckinsale—Minnesota Timberwolves
Oh, the delicious irony of someone who got famous playing a character that hunted werewolves playing for the Timberwolves.
No. 19: Ciara—Atlanta Hawks
Hotlanta would do well by picking up one of their own.
Ciara spent most of her teen years in Atlanta before blowing up and becoming a famous, hot R&B star.
No. 20: Ginnifer Goodwin—Utah Jazz
Ginnifer Goodwin would be a great fit for the Jazz. She already plays a polygamist on television, so she should have no problem fitting into that kind of lifestyle there in Utah.
No. 21: Kim Kardashian—New Orleans Hornets
Kim Kardashian would have no problem going to New Orleans, where she could be closer to her boyfriend, Reggie Bush.
She could even be the Reggie Bush of the NBA—famous without really accomplishing anything.
No. 22: Carrie Underwood—Dallas Mavericks
With all of the drama that went down with Dirk Nowitzki's fiancee, the Mavericks would be well suited to take a nice, sweet girl who won't give them any problems like that.
Carrie Underwood is perfect, and the country girl would be right at home in Dallas.
No. 23: Sienna Miller—Sacramento Kings
The Kings need somebody to whip them into shape. Sienna Miller would be a great late-round steal.
She'll be playing the taskmaster Baroness in this summer's G.I. Joe movie.
No. 24: Yvonne Strahovski—Portland Trailblazers
The Blazers showed that they needed to get tougher after getting beat down by the Rockets in the playoffs.
They need Yvonne Stahovski, the hot spy from Chuck—although no matter how much butt she kicks, chances are she still won't foul as much as Greg Oden.
No. 25: Bar Refaeli—Oklahoma City Thunder
Kevin Durant is ridiculously long and talented.
Bar Refaeli is ridiculously hot and long-legged.
Close enough.
No. 26: Evangeline Lilly—Chicago Bulls
After a heartbreaking loss to the Celtics in a fantastic first round series, the Bulls probably thought there was nothing good about the word Lost.
Not until they draft Evangeline Lilly. This sexy star of Lost would definitely be a win.
No. 27: Adriana Lima—Memphis Grizzlies
The Grizzlies would have the steal of the draft here by picking up Adriana Lima so late. There she could play alongside her hubby, Marko Jaric.
Well, he wouldn't actually be playing. He would be on the bench.
Why is she with him again?!?!
No. 28: Mila Kunis—Minnesota Timberwolves
For their third pick in the first round, the Timberwolves would probably want someone who could handle living in cold Minnesota.
Mila Kunis handled Wisconsin while she was on That 70's Show, so I think she would be great in Minnesota.
No. 29: Gabrielle Union—Los Angeles Lakers
Ms. Union is apparently no stranger to the NBA. Some anonymous athlete's wife called her out for hanging around married players a little too often.
That kind of drama is just made for L.A.
No. 30: Eliza Dushku—Cleveland Cavaliers
This is Cleveland's last chance to get LeBron James to stay, and in order to do that, they need to get him a capable sidekick.
Eliza Dushku has the ability to be a star but always seems to end up unappreciated. I think a partnership with LeBron would do them both well.
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