Tennis Showertime Songs

All Chook AP (To the song All Shook Up)

Oh well blais my soul
Wad iss wrong wid me
I teenk di problem is all in da knis
Di press say dat I los my touch
I been beat
I'm all chook ap!

My hands are chaky and my knees are weak
I no stand on my own two feet
Who do jou thank when jou gad bad luck?
I been beat
I'm all chook ap!

Plis dont ask me what on my mind
I to chaken up, no feelin fine
When Im near Soderling, can't play my bes
Skip da French Open jus give me res

My hands are chaky and my knees are weak
I no stand on my own two feet
Who do jou thank when jou gad bad luck?
I been beat
I'm all chook ap!
Uh Uh, Uh uh, Va-mos! All chook ap!

I Am The Champion ( Sung to Queen's We Are The Champions).

I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've broken my racket
But committed no crime -
And mental lapses
I've made a few
Nadal kicked his sand all over my face -
But I've come through.

I am the champion - my friends
I'll fight the five-setters til the end
I am the champion -
The greatest champion
Smoked Andy Roddick
Only lost cause I was sick -I could have hurled.

I've taken my trophies
And I've had my falls
The sponsors gave me a bloody big fortune
-
And I thank them all.

But it's been no bed of roses
It's win or fail -
I wish that every damn close match that I play
that Mirka wouldn't chew her nails .

I am the champion - my friends
I'll break Sampras' record in the end-
I am the champion -
I am the champion
No time for Djoker
'Cause he is a choker and a girl.

The Andy Man (sung to The Candyman Can).

Who can take on Roger
Whip him in two
Lavished in praise
by the British Who's who?

The Andyman
The Andyman can
The Andyman can cause he mixes it with spin and makes the British look good.

Who can take England
Out of its football woes
Soak it in the sun
Work the grass with its famous hoes?

The Andyman
The Andyman can
The Andyman can cause he mixes it with spin and makes the British look good.

Fernando (sung to Abba's "Fernando").

Can jou hear di cheers, Fernando?
I remember long ago another starry night like this
In Melbourne, Fernando
I was swinging balls and keeping Nadal on par
I could hear di umpire call my name
And sounds of victory calls were coming from afar.

Nadal is getting closer now, Fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was no afraid, Fernando
We were young and full of life and both of us no prepared to lose
And I'm not ashamed to say
The real defeat in di end
almost made me cry.

There was something in the air that night
I play so bright, Fernando
I was shining there for you and me
but mostly for me, Fernando
Though I never thought dat I could lose
There's always regret
If I had double-faulted again
My life would end as Fernando.

Redundant Naming (To the song "Constant Craving").

Looking at my family name
It's embarrassing
The "Rod" and "Dick" together
Get's under my skin.

Redundant Naming
Has always been,

Maybe I'll get over this
Shake it off with a nod
Or maybe I'll be pi**ed again
When no one calls me
A-ROD.

Redundant Naming
Has always been.

My Forehand Let Me Down (sung to Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport).

Now, there's an old tennis player man
And he's trying, but just a dying
And he gets himself up on his good hip
And he turns to his opponents and says,

"Watch me first serve bleed, mate
Watch me first serve bleed
I was a dangerous seed, mate
But watch me first serve bleed, altogether now:

My forehand let me down, sport
My forehand let me down
My forehand let me down, sport
My forehand let me down.

Don't Go Breaking My Record! (Sung to Don't Go Breaking My Heart).

This one has to be sung as a duet with Roger and Pete in the shower at the same time. Don't tell Mirka!

Pete: Don't go breaking my record.
Roger: You know I have to try.
Pete: Oh Roger don't be that restless.
Roger: I'm going to leave you behind.

Pete: Don't go breaking my records.
Roger: It takes the weight off of me.
Peter: Roger, you've been knockin' my door.
Roger: You know I have the keys.

Both: Woo hoo! Everyone knows it (everyone knows it).
Roger: When I was down.
Pete: I couldn't frown.
Roger: You got a head start.
Pete: If I could take you apart—Oh, if I could take you apart.

Don't cry for me Sister Safina (Sung to Don't Cry For Me, Argentina)

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I am on longer on the circuit
You're still trying to win in the French sun.

You won't believe me
All you will see is your big bro who grew
Although you saw all the signs
I lost the big ones now you will too.

I could have let it happen, I had the range
I fell asleep at the wheel
Grass is for cows so the milking has begun.

So I chose retirement
Running around, with nothing to do
Nothing you've done impressed me at all
I never expected it to.

Chorus:

Don't cry for me sister Safina
The truth is I was never with you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept low my expectations
We'll keep our distance.