Somewhere out there is a person who has spent the last 12 years wondering, investigating, theorizing. They have an entire wall with newspaper clippings and yarn tying together theories, like Rust Cohle's storage unit.
They heard the rumors about Tara Reid and Tom Brady maybe, possibly dating back in 2002, and they sought out to substantiate those rumors. For 12 long years, they couldn't quite find the missing link, the definitive photograph, the cryptic quote or tweet from one of the parties involved.
It was a mystery for the ages. And it haunted this person, kept him or her up at night. Tom and Tara. Tara and Tom. Oh, to know the truth!
Well, now that person can rest easy. After 12 long years, we finally do know the truth about Reid and Brady. Well, at least we know what Reid has said on the matter.
From Lee Moran of the New York Daily News:
So, the rumors are true.
Hollywood party girl Tara Reid DID once have a fling with New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.
It's long been whispered that the "American Pie" actress hooked up with the football star way back in 2002. But the 38-year-old has now confirmed what everybody has always thought—and dished the dirt on the relationship on Australian radio.
"Have kissed. He's pretty good looking," she coyly replied Thursday when asked about the athlete on KIIS 1065's Kyle and Jackie O's breakfast show.
My god, the details she revealed. Finally, we have a glimpse into the life they shared together for those fateful months; or weeks; or days; or day; or hours; or maybe they, like, got drunk once and made out for a few minutes.
Finally, we have answers.
Let's keep breaking down these comments. The fact that she knows he's pretty good looking obviously means that she's seen him before, and if you've seen someone there's at least a chance you've spent a substantial amount of time with that person.
The more we learn, the bigger and bigger this breaking news story seems. Obviously the news was all over the Internet, but where is the investigative report from The New York Times? When will Anderson Cooper dedicate a segment on this relationship? Is Oprah available?
And goodness, can you imagine what Adam Schefter might dig up?
As you've probably guessed, folks on Twitter were gushing about the relationship. Jimmy Traina of Fox Sports had nothing but kind words for T-Squared (which is the adorbs nickname I've given the former couple or whatever they were):
Tom Brady is not perfect after all. http://t.co/Q2vzFJkd4T— Jimmy Traina (@JimmyTraina) March 27, 2014
So what's next? Will Tom Brady appear in Sharknado 2? Will Reid start taking potshots at Wes Welker? Will they be photographed going down water slides together?
It's hard to say. Probably nothing, because who the hell really cares if Brady and Reid had a fling 12 years ago? Why did Reid even bother bringing it up now?
Who knows. Though be honest, you'd love to see Brady in Sharknado 2. I mean, that would be amazing.