If you can find a game this year featuring more diametrically opposed fortunes for two players on the same team than what Jamal Crawford and Chris Paul just experienced Wednesday night, I will eat a fern.
Then, there was this:
Chris Paul's 0-for-12 shooting night is the worst shooting performance in Clippers history. Previous team low was 0-for-11.— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) March 27, 2014
You read that right, folks: the worst performance in Clippers history.
The Clippers! The Clippers played all their games in the 1980s in the basement of the San Diego Public Library! OK, that's not true. But if it were, would it really surprise you?
Seriously, do you know who the Clippers’ top five scorers were during the 1999-2000 season? Do you?
Lamar Odom, Maurice Taylor, Derek Anderson, Tyrone Nesby and Michael Olowokandi.
I’d expect Tyrone Nesby to shoot 0-of-12, like, five times on one road trip before I’d expect Paul to do it once.
Anyway, that’s terrible. It probably didn’t help that the Clippers ended up losing to CP3’s former team, the New Orleans Pelicans, 98-96.
Here’s hoping the Clippers removed all glass or otherwise breakable objects from the visitors’ locker room.
You never want your name attached to the worst anything in Clippers history. I'd expect Chris Paul to have a big night tomorrow in Dallas.— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) March 27, 2014
You know what the most tragic thing of all this is, though? Crawford—you know, that guy who made seven three-pointers? Well, he missed one to win the game. What was his reaction?
My bad..— Jamal Crawford (@JCrossover) March 27, 2014
What? No! No, Jamal. It is decidedly not your bad. It’s Cliff’s bad. I mean Chris. Chris’ bad!
Anyway, it doesn't sound like CP3's that brokenhearted about the whole thing.
CP3: "At this point it’s just about winning. If I go 0-for-15 or 0-for-20 and we win, I couldn’t care less."— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) March 27, 2014
So, that’s a weird night. With how well the Clippers have played of late, don’t expect this loss to linger too long—although Thursday’s date with the Dallas Mavericks has all sorts of scintillating playoff implications.
My predictions for Thursday are as follows.
Paul: 86 points, 29 assists, 15 rebounds on 35-of-37 shooting.
Crawford: zero points, 0-of-12 from distance, leaves the game in the third quarter because he’s hungry and wants tacos.
The universe isn’t just going to balance itself out, you guys.