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The Dumbest Things Ever Said in Sports

Gabe ZaldivarPop Culture Lead WriterMarch 27, 2014

The Dumbest Things Ever Said in Sports

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    JOSEPH KACZMAREK/Associated Press

    If only they could get these back. 

    Welcome to a breakdown of the unfortunate and many times insane. This is a collection that ranges from lighthearted flubs to downright regrettable quotes. 

    Here we have a smattering of items to discuss. There is certainly room for things such as unfortunate and oft-times hilarious one-liner quotes. 

    Such a thing was well covered by Bleacher Report's own Dan Carson. And we have certainly set aside room for that kind of failure, because we can all use a good chuckle. For that, we have set aside bite-sized comedic quotes. 

    We have also decided to highlight superstars of dumb, as well as awful, moments when reporters, analysts and officials crossed an obvious and horrible line. 

    With a wealth of sports and so many people speaking before thinking, we are going to miss a veritable treasure trove of stupidity. 

    Please rectify that in the comments section below. 

Brian Brohm over Aaron Rodgers

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    Back in 2008, the Green Bay Packers took a second-round stab at Brian Brohm, which led to one of the more hilarious pieces of NFL analysis. 

    ESPN's Meril Hoge loves the pick and offers: "Actually I do like Brohm over Aaron Rodgers." 

    As with most of these items, we didn't all know how crazy this would be at the time. In fact, Hoge has similar thoughts on NFL draft star Johnny Manziel, a quarterback for whom he described as a "bust" in waiting.

    Will that quote become fodder for a similar list years from now? That's up to Manziel. Although, you have to like Hoge's track record if you are the former Aggies gunslinger. 

Tim McCarver: Best of the Worst

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    Where does one begin with the wealth of hilarity spewing from Tim McCarver's mouth, who covered MLB for Fox for so many years?

    Really, and we mean this sincerely, we will miss his McCarver-isms, essentially filling the air by explaining the obvious points to a game we all bought into long ago. 

    However, here are some favorites: 

    USA Today's Bob Velin caught a nice exchange between McCarver and Joe Buck as the Giants crowd roared for Barry Zito, shouting, "Barry!": 

    "They used to say it for somebody else around here," Buck said.

    To which McCarver replied: "When Barry Manilow was playing in a concert."

    Of course! You remember baseball's all-time home run king, Barry Manilow.

    "Or Barry Bonds," Buck teased.

    Back in 2011, he noted that, "It's a five letter word: S-T-R-I-K-E."

    One that has made its way across message boards and reports is my personal favorite: "Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out."

Al Campanis

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    Let's take a break from the humorous and traipse into the land of the downright deplorable. 

    Nightline's Ted Koppel was just about to head to break before he asked then-Dodgers general manager Al Campanis to expound on why there was a lack of black managers in the game, asking if there was prejudice in the sport. 

    Campanis answers, "No, I don't think there is prejudice, " before launching into racially charged remarks on the state of the game and his thoughts on black managers. 

    ESPN's William Weinbaum would write about various issues going into that particular 1987 interview, including many who were cautious of Campanis on air because he "had a way of mangling the language" and had a propensity to "bumble."

    Jimmy Campanis, Al's son, clarified the remarks to Weinbaum: "He [Al] said maybe some of the black players don't have the 'necessities,' which meant 'necessary experience' to manage or be a front office guy, and 'necessary experience' is going back to the minor leagues and managing in the minor leagues."

    No matter the impetus or thought behind the remarks, they go down in infamy as some of the most deplorable in sports history. 

Comedic Break: Carl Everett

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    Rick Stewart/Getty Images

    God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

    That's former MLB player Carl Everett in a rather wonderful 2000 Sports Illustrated interview

    Please, don't show this to Bill Nye. 

Comedic Break: Jerry Rice

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    Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

    We need a double dose of levity after Campanis, so we give you the best receiver ever to play the game. Although we can't be sure just by asking Jerry Rice.

    A CBS Chicago report reminded us that Rice once scored a verbal touchdown with, "I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that."

    Shh, please don't tell him. Just let him be, let him have this one. This quote is just too magnificent to be disturbed. 

Ryan Lochte: Best of the Worst

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    PhillyMag.com's Aaron Mettey compiled a grand list of the dumbest things to ever leave Ryan Lochte's mouth. With that, in conjunction with a painfully awkward compilation video, we think you are all set on the Lochte front. 

    Here are some gems from Mettey

    On his greatest gift to mankind: "It’s spelled J-E-A-H. If you say it like how it’s spelled it’s ‘jee-ah.’ But, that’s boring; no one wants to hear that. So you have to really put that emphatis [sic] on that ‘J.’ And then the ‘A-H’ kinda just flows."

    On his ability to speak: "You know what? Ryan Lochte is a pretty good speechmaker."

    We now fully understand what was going on when the anchors for FOX 29 News completely lost it on air after an interview with Lochte. 

Rush Limbaugh

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    Who knew having Rush Limbaugh cover the NFL would end so poorly. Put your hands down, everybody. 

    Back in 2003, the oft-opinionated radio talk show host offered his thoughts on star quarterback Donovan McNabb. In short, he wasn't a fan, but let's allow him to take it away, via ESPN.com: 

    Sorry to say this, I don't think he's been that good from the get-go. I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team.

    His remarks caused the obvious controversy, as well as Limbaugh's departure from the sports world. 

    Eventually, McNabb would end his career with six Pro Bowl nods and an NFC Championship, which is better than most quarterbacks, regardless of color, that come into the league. 

Comedic Break: Scottie Pippen

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    Charles Rex Arbogast/Associated Press

    Scottie Pippen's assessment of LeBron James seems far less ridiculous now. But please remember this quote came from 2011, before James won the first of his two NBA titles. 

    Michael Jordan is probably the greatest scorer to ever play the game. I may go so far as saying LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game.

    Pippen is either the greatest basketball soothsayer of all time or he was mistaken. Until James wraps up his career with more titles, we will go with the latter. 

Frank Thomas a .250 Hitter

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    Kathy Willens/Associated Press

    If we are going to give Merril Hoge a hard time for incorrectly calling Brian Brohm's career, we might as well do the same for a scout who saw nothing more than a .250 hitter in incoming Hall of Famer Frank Thomas. 

    Larry Maxie's report from 1989 (h/t Busted Coverage) is hard to read without letting out at least a bit of a sigh. He states Thomas is a ".250 hitter tops, if that. But will hit HR's (20 on bad year if he gets 500 ABs)."

    Oops. 

    A lifetime .301 average and 521 home runs prove scouting is not an exact science.

Damon Bruce

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    In a world that demands talk show hosts have a take, and a very loud one at that, things will eventually go horribly awry. 

    That's a good way of putting then-KNBR host Damon Bruce's misogynistic rant. Now with 95.7 The Game, here is what he had to say last November, via Deadspin:

    A lot of sports has lost its way, and I'm gonna tell you, part of the reason is because we've got women giving us directions. For some of you, this is going to come across as very misogynistic. I don't care, because I'm very right.

    He then went on a rant that garnered national attention, and not in the way you would ever like. 

Comedic Break: Mike Cameron

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    Christian Petersen/Getty Images

    ESPN's Bill Simmons once compiled some great quotes, among them some rather remarkable words from former MLB player Mike Cameron. 

    Here is the entry: 

    "The sun has been there for 500, 600 years ... "
    -- Mets outfielder Mike Cameron, after teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun against the Dodgers

    Someone might want to double check the math on this one. 

Greg Maddux Not a Starter

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    Kathy Willens/Associated Press

    Greg Maddux was what you might consider a pretty decent starting pitcher. 

    OK, he was one of the best, which is why he was granted a Hall of Fame nod with over 97 percent of the vote. 

    However, as Busted Coverage spotted, New York Mets scout Duffy Dyer thought he was nothing more than mediocre. 

    Bleacher Report's Kyle Newport has an image of the report that features the following assessment: 

    Not strong enough to be a starter
    Small
    Good arm
    Ran out of gas
    Did not pitch good last 1/3 of season

    I guess you could say Dyer was, well, wrong. 

     

Skip Bayless and All Things First Take

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    Bleacher Report's Amber Lee has a masterpiece entitled, "The 20 Dumbest Things Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith Have Said." 

    It's really worth your time, if only to serve as a cautionary tale against watching the show. 

    However, it's filled with some truly amazing gems, including Skip Bayless offering: "Tim Tebow is the next Brett Favre!"

    Now, Lee does write, "Skip tried to back off his nonsense slightly by clarifying that he meant 'in idolatry,' rather than talent…maybe?"

    Still, the above video should signal the type of nonsense you can find on First Take

John Rocker

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    JOHN BAZEMORE/Associated Press

    In a 1999 Sports Illustrated interview, John Rocker proved he is just a big dumb animal with big dumb opinions. One of the low lights follows: 

    The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. I'm not a very big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?

    Rocker hasn't quite let up, as a 2013 Reddit AMA illustrated. 

Comedic Break: Terry Bradshaw

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    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    We love Terry Bradshaw, but even more because of this quote (h/t Yahoo! Sports): "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."

    Please, don't ask him to explain, because our heads already hurt. 

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