Management Fire All Washington Nationals Players, Keep Coaching Staff (Satire)

The Sports Comedian by Analyst Written on June 16, 2009
SAN FRANCISCO - MAY 13:  Ryan Zimmerman #11 and Nick Johnson #24 of the Washington Nationals celebrate after they beat the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park on May 13, 2009 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images) (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Unhappy with the way the team has performed so far this season, Washington Nationals management fired all their players today in an unprecedented move. They have brought up some kids from double A ball to serve as interim players until they can find suitable replacements.

"Well, we've struggled to a 16-45 record, which is just awful," said GM Frank Geary. "But head coach Manny Acta is one of the best out there, this team just isn't getting the full management potential out of him. So, we just felt it was time to make a change. We're going to eat their salaries and just move in a different direction."

"We like what they do up in Boston," continued Geary. "We're going to see if we can maybe sign that team to replace them down here. We need a big name team to come in and get the fanbase excited, hopefully some new players can motivate this coaching staff better."

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written on June 16, 2009 Humor

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