The Top 10 Douche Bags in Football

Whatever the situation is, no matter how hard or easy it is, Lehmann usually cracks under pressure.

No, he doesn't lose confidence, in fact he takes it from us: whether he be bursting into anger, shouting like a mad man, or ruining the Champions League final that all Gunners waited for ages to see.

On behalf of every Arsenal fan, Mr.Lehmann...thanks for all the great saves and laughs that you gave us with your mentally unstable nature.

You gotta love this guy with quotes like this:

"Please don't think I'm arrogant when I say this, but I think I am a special one."

Hehehe. Yes, Mr.Mourinho you beat Man United thanks to a canceled goal that almost gave Sir Red Nose a heart attack, and then you beat Monaco in the Champions League final (wow, Porto Vs. Monaco in the CL final, how did that happen?).

And you won the League with Chelsea two times in a row courtesy of a Russian Leprechaun, and you are indeed one of the best managers in the world.

But all that doesn't erase the fact that you called the Professor a "rat".

He is not a rat Mr.Mourinho, but you are a douche bag.

Now remember, this isn't the same Top 10 I made last time.

This one is about douche bags, not video games...and STILL Adriano makes the list easily.

Leaving Inter and deciding to quit football would've made sense, but to leave Inter until they have to terminate their contract with you so that you could go to Flamengo for free is just simply disgusting.

Just because you felt a little home sick and wanted to dance with a few Brazilian girls doesn't mean you should act so unprofessionally.

Now, you ruined your chances of becoming a legend, and instead you are officially a legendary douche bag.

Dani Alves is the RB for both Barcelona and Brazil. He was part of the historic Barcelona side that simply won everything in their paths.

So how does he make it in the Top 10 Douche Bags List ?

Well, apart from the CL final (and the finals too), how many times did you see him smile?

He is always pissed off, and always giving that look that makes even the most innocent of babies want to hang themselves, and always going "this sucks. I play for Brazil and Barcelona, which are the strongest sides in history, and it sucks. The fans are always cheering me, and they suck."

Well, he didn't exactly say those words, but you get the picture.

Cristiano Ronaldo's list of honors doesn't seem to end: winning all those Premier League titles, the Champions League, the Player of the Year award, and the prestigious Ballon d'Or. Now, he makes it onto the Douche Bags List.

Being dubbed by many fans as Ronaldive, stabbing the team that made a star out of him (TWICE), and saying that he loves it when people call him names (I don't know about you, but I surely don't like to hear the fans cursing my mom and dad every time I show up) are some of his many accomplishments.

No one can argue that CR7 (soon the number will change) deserves to be on the list.

Had it not been for the competition, Materazzi would've easily won the whole thing and ended up as No.1.

I'm not a fan of France or Italy, in fact I didn't even watch the World Cup Final, but to ruin it in such a manner is inexcusable. If there was any justice in the world, Materazzi would've been kicked out of the match along with Zidane.

All who hate Materazzi say I.

I thought so too.

Evra is a DOUCHE BAG. No, that didn't come out right.

Evra is a MAJOR DOUCHE BAG.

We all know that most guys in Man United's team are never under the spotlight like Ronaldo and Rooney. They are simply "the other guys", so they usually go and try to make a scene to get some attention.

But to say that the match against Arsenal was "men against boys" is plain stupid. Don't get me wrong , If it was Ronaldo then I would've just shut up and cried like a baby, but when it's the worst rated player in the Man United squad then clearly he thinks too much of himself.

After the match he said, " I will fight you Fabregas, outside of the match, when there is no referee."

Sadly Evra, the only thing anyone around here is gonna remember about you is that you were No.4 on the Douche Bag List (even in this one you couldn't win).

Let me state this right away, I Hate Chelsea.

They bore me to death, and I rarely watch a full match when they are included in it.

But even they didn't deserve to go out like this. Tom Henning was so bad that day that I actually felt sad for Chelsea. Also, this isn't the first time Henning ruined a match for an English team.

No, Barca never deserved a red card, but that doesn't explain why he canceled the Penalty for Anelka (we'll leave the other ones for later.). To error is human, but more than once in such an important match is unforgivable.

And yes, Chelsea was the better team that day. I admit it.

Henning, congratulations for winning the Bronze Medal in "The Top 10 Douche Bags in Football".

If you thought that all your efforts had gone unnoticed, think again. You can count on me buddy.

Ahem, ahem... "THIS IS A F*****G DISGRACE! A F*****G DISGRACE! IT'S A F******G CONSPIRACY! A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU! WE ARE ALL MONKEYS! WE ARE ALL MONKEYS! EEEK EEK OOOK AAK OOK EEEK EEK."

Like they say, It takes two to dance, and boy did Drogba dance that night.

Until the last minute, I thought it was Henning who was going to be in the headlines the next day, but it was The Drog that blew us all away that day.

He is the main reason all the little kids, while their parents were tucking them in bed, would ask "Mommy, what does F*****g disgrace mean?"

It takes an Idiot to ruin a match but it takes a complete wazzock to ruin the entire day.

When I was young, there was a Drug PSA (The famous one with the eggs),
it would show you the eggs in the frying pan and go like this "This is drugs, this is your brain on drugs, any questions ?"

Now though people go like this "This is Drog, this is your brain on Drog. any questions ?"

Call him what you will, but I personally think Didier Douche Bag is F*****g awesome.

And the No.1 in The Top 10 Douche Bags in Football is (Drum Roll please).

Note: To experience maximum satisfaction from this presentation, one is advised to play the Superman theme song (the original one) while reading.

It takes an idiot to ruin a match, it takes a wazzock to ruin the day, but it takes the ultimate douche bag to ruin a season for a team. Any team, whether it's a team playing for honors like Liverpool, or a team playing for survival like Hull City.

Adebayour received only two red cards in his career at Arsenal. Do you want to take a guess who gave him both? This douche bag.

Also, Toure received two red cards as well, one of which was from Webb (ironically, the other was from Tom Henning).

How many penalties did he give Man United at Old Trafford? (I'm not saying he is a Man United fan, I assure you he gave them red cards as well).

Heck, even yesterday he gave Egypt a red card and awarded Brazil a penalty in the last minute to prove to everybody that he could piss you off on the international stage as well.

Ever since 2000, in a career spanning over 860 yellow cards and well over 40 red cards, Howard Webb has become the indisputable Douche Bag.

Webb isn't just a douche bag, He is THEE douche bag. Webb has disgraced everything he represents: the British, referees, and bald guys

On behalf of everyone on the planet, I dub thee, Howard Webb, No.1 douche bag in football.