Oh, Twitter. You have provided us some entertaining moments over the years. You've given us insight into the lives of professional athletes like never before. You've become our go-to source for mixed martial arts news. And, in some cases, you have cost fighters their jobs and livelihoods.
Twitter has become part of the fabric of our lives. Few of us could imagine living without it in the same way it would be difficult to live without our phones or text messaging or Taco Bell.
@mayhemmiller my goal this year is to get on some anti depresants— phil baroni (@philbaroni) December 31, 2009
I don't know whether to be sad about this or concerned. Probably a little bit of both.
But then again, that's pretty much been the story of the last five years or so of Baroni's career, where he's gone 2-7 and elicited groans from fans every time he steps back in the cage because he needs the money.
Taking it easy on Halloween got my second scene tomorrow and gotta REPRESENT!!— War Machine (@WarMachine170) November 1, 2009
One of the most deplorable human beings in mixed martial arts, Jon Koppenhaver (I refuse to call him "War Machine") was on the set of a...movie when he discovered Twitter.
We all know what kind of movies Koppenhaver starred in. And now that I've forced these thoughts into my brain, I'm going to go in the living room and hit myself with a hammer until they disappear.
New training regime today. Defend defend!!— Georges St-Pierre (@GeorgesStPierre) February 23, 2009
Sometimes the jokes write themselves. I have no words here.
Heading back to Vegas after UFC 95 last night in London. Time to get ready for WEC in Corpus Christi next weekend.— Dana White (@danawhite) February 22, 2009
Yeah, Dana White didn't write his first tweet. You know how I know? Because everything is spelled correctly and there are no expletives.
I'm here via a vote of 45 to 32 for and a need to bring Chaos and Destruction to Twitter. I'll make this bitch metal!— Josh Barnett (@JoshLBarnett) June 26, 2009
Josh Barnett apparently only joined Twitter because the fans voted that he should. Oh, and because Twitter needed some more chaos and destruction.
please tell me everyone here has been listening to the Halllllle Berry, Halllllle Berry song as much as I have— Ryan Loco (@RyanLoco) October 25, 2008
Blackzilians photographer Ryan Loco, ladies and gentlemen.
Gimmee a po-boy please baby please!— Pat Barry (@HypeOrDie) November 3, 2009
Is there a more fitting first Pat Barry tweet? One of the funniest and most engaging UFC personalities wanted a po-boy, and who can blame him? Po boys, a staple of the New Orleans food scene, are delicious and not at all nutritious.
And now I'm hungry. Thanks, Pat.
IM IN NIS BITCH NAH!!!— Rose Namajunas (@rosenamajunas) January 25, 2012
This is Pat's girlfriend, Rose, who will appear on Season 20 of The Ultimate Fighter. She's a really fun fighter to watch. Also, she's bad with the grammar and punctuation.
now this is my twitter! Tito Ortiz. the other was a phoney.— Tito Ortiz (@titoortiz) July 20, 2009
I had to point this out because Tito can't spell and because it reeks of the same confusion that surrounds the rest of Ortiz's life. This is his Twitter. Not the other one. This one. My neck is broken, and I'll risk paralysis if I fight again. I'm fine and waiting for Bellator to give me a fight.
u didnt know about my new twitter account— mark richard hunt (@markhunt1974) April 5, 2012
No, Mark Hunt. We did not know about your new Twitter account. Not until you tweeted about it, anyway.
Anderson, you are going to be on your back more than a pornstar with a mortgage.— chael sonnen (@sonnench) May 27, 2010
This was before the first fight between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen, and so it is not surprising that Sonnen's first usage of the social media service was to continue the expansion of his burgeoning trash-talking empire.
@danawhite I'm a ring of combat middle weight champ It's my dream to be in the UFC— uriah hall (@UriahHallMMA) September 1, 2012
Look at this: Uriah Hall, a year before he would go on The Ultimate Fighter, using Twitter to identify himself to Dana White.
#dontwifeher if its the first night you met and raw doggin is HER first choice haha— Andre Fili (@TouchyFili) September 15, 2009
Andre Fili, I don't even know what to say about your first tweet. You are far too young to speak of such things.
BSN set this up for me; I'll be using it to keep everyone updated on what I'm doing & where/when I'll be making an appearance. Thanks guys!— Forrest Griffin (@ForrestGriffin) February 19, 2009
That's Forrest Griffin for you: dragged kicking and screaming into the Twittersphere by a sponsor who wanted him to use it to further the company's product.
This is actually T.J. Dillashaw's first tweet: a retweet of Team Alpha Male leader Urijah Faber. In it, we see that Miesha Tate has just won the Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight Championship, and Joseph Benavidez is so excited he can't keep his eyes open.
On twitter now in stillwater Cali trip coming up. Making move into mma GDP/ team thirsty stand up. Bunch get em in Baku.— Daniel Cormier (@dc_mma) July 17, 2009
This appears to be one of the first moments that Cormier revealed his move to mixed martial arts. Just a few months later, he would make his pro fighting debut for Strikeforce, and the rest is history. That's a pretty good use of a first tweet, I'd say.
Getting the new website vitorbelfort.com ready for its debut— Vitor Belfort (@vitorbelfort) September 28, 2009
One imagines Vitor Belfort sitting in front of his MacBook Pro, coding his own website. No? OK.
Just set up my tweeter account:)— Alpha Cat Zingano (@CatZingano) October 18, 2010
Thankfully, Cat Zingano would likely go on to learn the correct name of the social-media service.
getting used to this twitter thing that my management told me is a must do...— Benson Henderson (@BensonHenderson) October 20, 2009
Yet another fighter who was forced to sign up for Twitter, but would go on to become a prolific user of the service.
I just joined Twitter. Not sure what I'm getting myself into. Direct blame at Molly Qerim.— Jon Anik (@Jon_Anik) May 13, 2009
What Jon Anik would "get into" is an eventual job with the UFC. So things seemingly worked out for him.
Mike Brown vs Jose Aldo tonight!!!!— Anthony Pettis (@Showtimepettis) November 18, 2009
This one is great because it was the same day Jose Aldo would beat Mike Brown to capture the WEC Featherweight Championship. He hasn't lost since.
De-flowering my Twitter account... Enjoying my break but I'm ready to get back at it!!!— Travis Browne (@travisbrowneMMA) June 22, 2010
Maybe it's just me, but there's probably a better way to refer to the act of opening up a new Twitter account than what Travis Browne chose here.
Dia 26/011 estarei indo aos EUA para treinar com o Minotauro ajudar em sua preparação. Já treinando forte para o combate contra o Napão.— Junior Dos Santos (@junior_cigano) January 18, 2010
Well, I don't know what any of this means.
Bout to go on a run........— Nathan Diaz (@NateDiaz209) June 29, 2009
Nate Diaz's Twitter account would go on to be used for much more awesome things than this simple tweet in the years ahead.
Doing the twitter thing!— Dan Henderson (@danhendo) March 6, 2009
Succinct and to the point. That's what Dan Henderson is all about. And Sunday, he'll do the thing against Shogun Rua in Brazil.
Headed to Walmart for cleaning supplies and Cheetos.— Jeremy Botter (@jeremybotter) November 21, 2006
I close with my own, from way back in 2006, mostly because it is likely the single worst tweet ever.