Dustin Pedroia's Napoleon Complex Intensifies

After the third game of the Twins/Sox series (5/27/09), Dustin Pedroia was seen, along with his mother shopping, in the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota. He was first spotted trying on an orange, blue, and yellow jumpsuit in Gymboree. He was then found in Toys-R-Us standing at a height chart, which was flanked by the famous giraffe, Raffy, Dustin standing 5 feet, 3.5 inches tall. This is a far cry from the 5'9" that is listed on most sources, including redsox.com.

Dustin was further followed in the same mall to a play-place, which seemingly held 500-600 young children, with Dustin falling under the 5-5 height maximum. He tumbled and crawled, climbed and ran, pushed and shoved, and nobody seemed to mind that he had a full beard and was half bald. A few minutes later, a small gang of five- and six-year-old boys felt that he had taken cuts when climbing up to the top of the slide, so they yanked him off the ladder and a brawl ensued. Little Dustin came running to his mommy, crying profusely. She cursed at him and told him that she had warned him about playing too aggressively, then bent him over her knee, slightly lowered his new Gymboree sweats, and began to spank him. While beating him, she demanded that he say "Who's your Papi?" The tough guy that he is, he refused to comply.