Super Weird Athlete Selfies
The "selfie" is the technologically-enabled little indulgence which no generation could fully comprehend beyond 'millennials' and anyone alive today who knows one.
We just can't help ourselves when it comes to the opportunity to transmit our duck-faced mugs across the globe.
If a Polaroid camera could've made phone calls and ordered pizza, perhaps the selfie would've taken a foothold 30 years ago―but, alas it never truly captured lightning in a bottle.
With Facebook, Twitter and Instagram giving people a reliably large audience for selfies, it's no surprise that same social media apps that allow fans to dump a virtual beer on the digital head of their 'favorite' athletes, also provide the world with an often weird window into the daily existence of some of the most colorful personalities in sports.
Yep, the selfie transcends borders, careers and economics―providing an equal opportunity medium for weirdness.
These are the weirdest athlete selfies.
In the not-too-humble home of Heat superstar Dwyane Wade, weird selfies are, apparently, a family affair. D-Wade and his adorable young sons ham it up for cheesy selfies on a regular basis.
From the chin up is not the most flattering angle for most people. Here’s former Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel with his friend who calls himself “Uncle Nate” and looks like Justin Bieber.
The Nuggets JaVale McGee selfie videos a meeting of his #JugLife posse. Apparently #JugLife is the act of living your life by always carrying a gallon of milk with you? Actually, it’s water, but on his sweatshirt it sure looks like milk.
American soccer star Sydney Leroux is always making friends wherever she goes. Although, she looks less than thrilled to be meeting this adorably scaled little guy.
Saints tight end Benjamin Watson staying up late with his little one because, as he said, he’s up all night anyway! It’s always a little odd when people look away from the camera in a selfie, as if it’s a candid moment someone else has captured.
Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell is a serious selfie addict. A lot of them are pretty standard, but a select few are very weird—like this one. From the look on his face and lack of shirt, you’d think he’s probably in bed, but it looks more like a doctor’s office in the background.
Says Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney, “different doesn’t mean wrong.” It doesn’t, but this isn’t different. This is Miley Cyrus. Of course, Maroney takes a new selfie every five minutes or so, so there’s plenty to choose from.
The Eagles' Connor Barwin says even Van Gough loved selfies. He definitely did, but a totally different kind of selfie.
Professional boxer and sometimes rapper Adrien Broner snaps a selfie of him and his fiancé in bed. Nothing sexier than crawling into bed after a shower with a big bag of red hot Cheetos and a bottle of soda—amirite?
Honestly, it would probably be weirder to see boxer Floyd Mayweather wearing something that wasn’t promoting boxer Floyd Mayweather. That being said, there’s something really off-putting bout the repetition here.
The Rockets' James Harden really loves to show off his robust beard via selfies. Most of them are on various modes of team transportation (like this), but this one with the barber is definitely a standout. Mostly because with the lighting, it looks like his barber might be God.
A throwback Thursday photo from Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, who’s rocking bleached blonde hair, a tan that makes me nervous about his future health and that notoriously stupid grill he donned at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
Colts tight end Weslye Saunders must really love America if he’s willing to look that stupid and creepy while displaying his patriotism. Loving the weird intensity in his eyes.
What is it with people pretending to sleep in their selfies? We know you’re awake or you wouldn’t be taking a photo of yourself. Sorry, 'Melo! The jig is up.
This selfie of tennis player Victoria Azarenka is obviously weird because she’s dating the guy from LMFAO. Seriously, what’s that all about?
Apparently the Pacers' Evan Turner thinks he’s in such public demand that a selfie video of his haircut is in demand. Wonder if next in the series we’ll get to see him chilling on the toilet.
Race car driver Lewis Hamilton’s selfie with his trainer is uncomfortably weird. Probably because it looks more like he’s posing next to a serial killer than someone he knows well. Seriously—that guy has the dead-eyed stare of Kevin Spacey in Se7en.
Giants safety Antrel Rolle constantly takes selfies and almost all of them are weird in their own way. He’s very fond of car selfies with his son in the back (like this), but the smoldering stare he’s shooting in this one definitely elevates the weird.
Is MMA fighter Miesha Tate having a bad hair day or the worst hair day? She calls this post training look her “Mufasa hair,” which is a pretty accurate description.
The Kings' DeMarcus Cousins claims his boy Abraham Lincoln was the one who wanted to pose for this selfie, but I’m not so sure that’s the case. Either way, he’s being a pretty good sport about it.
Pelicans guard Tyreke Evans took this selfie video of himself sitting in doorway of his car lip syncing along to the radio. This thing is just all kinda weird.
Oklahoma fullback Trey Millard is one of those guys who you can spot 100 yards away just by his hair. It always looks amazing, but it looks even more amazing from this weird angle.
I’ve heard that Thunder big man Kevin Durant is a pretty decent rapper with a studio in his house. Which is why there’s no excuse for this nonsense video selfie. He’s just lip synching along to the radio, except that he doesn’t seem to actually know the words.
This adventurous selfie of PGA pro Rickie Fowler’s is equal parts weird and impressive. It’s definitely more creative than the vast majority of athlete selfies I’ve come across.
The Lakers' Nick Young narrates a trip down a surprisingly fun-looking slide in China in this video. It’s absolutely ridiculous—meaning you definitely want to check out part two of this epic journey.
Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson demonstrating the “monstrous” size of an apple by comparing it to her dome. Yet somehow the apple looks normal and her head just looks strangely small. Johnson also has glasses that make her head look teeny in selfies.
Rockets big man Dwight Howard sure didn’t endear himself to anyone outside Houston the last few years, but based strictly on his Instagram photos, he’s still a pretty likable weirdo. Just in case you forgot how annoying he is, he’s wearing that 10-pound gold chain.
Was feeling indecisive and decided to throw in another weird Dwight Howard selfie for good measure.
The Yankees' Carlos Beltrán looks straight up creepy in his roller coaster video selfie with, who I’m assuming, are his wife and child. People almost never look that happy to be being filmed by face-painted strangers.
Falcons linebacker Sean Weatherspoon is one of my favorite follows on Instagram. Most of what he posts is ridiculously weird, but in the best possible way. Happiest surgery selfie ever.
Initially I didn’t think this selfie of 49ers tight end Vernon Davis was that weird. Then I realized it wasn’t his tongue…then I read the disturbing caption about it being a cow tongue. Ew.