Last night I was subjected to an episode of the animated Bob & Doug. Why was this show created? SCTV was a funny show. This thing is an abomination. It doesn't relate at all to Canada anymore.
They don't even have Rick Moranis doing the thing, it's Dave Thomas with Dave Coulier (the guy from Full House who's not Bob Saget or John Stamos and does hilarious voices). Why must we tarnish everything good Canada ever made by trivializing it?
Arguably, the best show Canada has produced over the last 10 years is Trailer Park Boys. Canadians today relate more to the drug-smoking, liquor-inhaling, curse word-talking, road hockey-playing characters of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, than they do the puck-slapping, beer-drinking hosers of the Great White North.
If anything, Bob and Doug would have become the new Trailer Park Boys, they were just a couple of drunks anyway.
Why were we blessed with a show that broke all the rules like TPB, that we loved, and now are forced to suffer through shows that don't resemble its winning formula at all? Maybe it's just me. Rant over. Ugh.
Why does Canadian television suck so bad?
Oh.
Speaking of which, the Blue Jays just dropped three games to the Florida Marlins in another fine example of Canadian programming.
Vernon Wells managed zero hits with a walk and four strikeouts during the series, while being moved into the third spot in the Jays lineup. His batting average dropped to .238 and he is homer-less since May 6.
It's official people: Like Canadian television, Wells is slumping. Bad.
I blame two things right now—slow hands and bad luck. For Wells, not Canadian TV.
According to fangraphs.com, Wells is seeing a five percent increase in fastballs thrown to him this year. For a batter known for his ability to turn on a fastball, this is odd. Sixty-one percent of all the pitches thrown at him have been varying degrees of heat (temperature pun anyone?), up from 56 percent in 2008.
Wells has seen his production from these fastballs dip eight runs under his average. He's just not contributing when being thrown the fastball.
This means that either A) Wells is slowing down or B) pitchers are doing a better job of keeping him off balance by mixing their pitches. We know Wells is seeing a fastball six out of 10 times at the plate.
Last year Vern broke his left wrist. When he came back, he was somehow hitting better than before the injury. Wells went from hitting .287 in the first half of the season, to .318 in the second.
Wells also strained his hamstring during last season, which he re-aggravated in spring training. Both the wrist and the hamstring could still be stinging him every time he steps into the box.
Remember the long recoveryLyle Overbay had with his hand, and Overbay is only now really starting to hit like he did before breaking it. Vernon is a different human being, with a different injury, with a different kind of body, and may be healing differently as well.
This is the preferred alternative to just saying Vernon Wells is getting old and slow. He's only 31-years-old, so I'm leaning more towards the lingering injuries theory rather than Father Time ringing early.
Wells has also had his share of bad luck this year.
Currently Wells is only hitting .249 on balls in play. Last year it was .289. The stats show he's having a hard time finding a hole in the defense.
What should the Jays do about one of the cornerstones of the franchise struggling like this?
Have patience.
Cito Gaston could have dropped Wells down in the lineup (he still might), but he hasn't. Wells has always been able to catch up to the fastball and he still will. Cito is just giving him time to hit in a more familiar spot, hoping that Wells will find himself again.
It's not time to trade Wells (what could we get right now anyway?), it's time to recognize the Jays as a team are going through some struggles. They are traditionally more a second half team though, and they will rebound.
We can only hope Wells starts looking more like Trailer Park Boys and less like Bob and Doug real soon.
It's okay to like Bob and Doug, but it's never okay to enjoy a Vernon Wells slump.
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