My Sports Generation: These Are a Few of My Hated Things

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My Sports Generation: These Are a Few of My Hated Things

To the Song and Lyrics of "My Favorite Things," Sung by Julie Andrews

(It's hard to find words that rhyme with "strudels" and "noodles")

SAT scores with Roses and horrible whiskers on pitchers
Cocky closers with too much metal and Ryan Howard stealing a base for a fantasy clincher
Dwight Howard in the post doing the same thing
These are a few of my hated things

Coaching phonies who don't use their noodles
Baseball Tonight being populated with fools
Adam Morrison is getting a ring
These are a few of my hated things

The Magic looking like girls in dresses with blue satin sashes
J.J. Redick gelling his hair and plucking his eyelashes
The media frenzy when Ozzie says a thing
These are a few of my hated things

When Gasol fights
When Wrigley sings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my most hated things
My generation of sports is really bad

John Kruk and Steve Berthiaume sounding so smitten
If Boston or New York loses, ESPN will have nothing written
Wrigley only caring about which star will sing
These are a few of my hated things

Rick Sutcliffe and Joe Morgan aren't smarter than poodles
Detroit Red Wings fans bringing sore loser boos by the oodles
Talking about David Ortiz not hitting a thing
These are a few of my hated things

East coast All-Star voters making baseball fans look like asses
Derrick Rose pictures where his eyes look like he's been smoking ashes
That whole steroid fling
These are a few of my hated things

Bench Garnett starting fights
Sammy Sosa saying things
It all makes me sad
I simply remember my most hated things
My generation of sports is really bad

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