Athlete Food Fails
You can't fault an athlete for being human. Sure, most can jump higher, run faster or throw a baseball harder than most of their fellow man, but they eat, drink and sleep just like the rest of us.
Sometimes, though, that intersection of athlete and food—whether during a game or after it—leads to a moment that can only be described as a fail.
Maybe the fail itself is the sum of a larger number of food-related faux pas or a just single unfortunate (for them, thought it's kind of awesome for us) moment captured on camera.
Either way, the food fail scoresheet catalogs it just the same.
These are athlete food fails that make us laugh, squirm or just wonder "why?"
A-Rod Hand-Fed Popcorn Before Worldwide Audience
Not that having an A-List, attractive actress hand-feed you popcorn before millions of Super Bowl XLV viewers is necessarily a bad thing, but when you're Alex Rodriguez...it just reinforces the spoiled "Caesar" label.
Worse still? Rather than playing it cool, A-Rod reinforces the reinforcement with a good, ol' fashioned celebrity freak-out over the non-ordeal.
NIT Experience Summed Up in One Moment
Former Kansas State forward Bill Walker was one of those talents who was supposed to be one college pitstop away from stardom in the NBA.
For most of us, the popcorn was the most engaging part of watching the non-NCAA tournament action.
Jets QB Mark Sanchez Shotguns Hot Dog on Sideline
This is an example of an incident that really had no business becoming a big deal (or an apology-worthy offense, even), but for hapless New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, it just looks worse the longer he remains an NFL player.
In fact, chowing down on a hot dog amid a 38-0 pasting of the Oakland Raiders is, relatively speaking, a career highlight compared to the "Butt Fumble" and various on-field performances that have ranged from mediocre to disastrous.
Former Seahawk Golden Tate Prioritizes Donuts over Trespassing
While it certainly may be in terms of the legal system and Tate's career, the Internet never forgets—and "breaking into" Seattle's Top Pot Donut Shop after 3:00 a.m. as a rookie to satisfy his fried dough craving is just weird.
Don't Order the Lobster Mac
Though lobster, or any dish that features lobster, is usually one of the priciest items on any restaurant's menu, it's reasonable to assume that any time you add shellfish to a dish, the risk of spending the early morning hours hugging a toilet goes up.
Bad Lasagna or Sabotage? (Or Neither)
In 2006, English Premier League rivals Tottenham Hotspur and West Ham United were set to clash in a battle for a spot in the Champions League.
As was the custom, the Spurs players enjoyed a team dinner the night before the match—a buffet spread that included lasagna.
The lasagna emerged as the prime suspect in the suspected food poisoning of 10 Tottenham first-teamers, including top scorer Michael Carrick. Despite recovering enough to field a team the next day, the Spurs fell to West Ham 2-1.
Sooner Student-Athletes Violate the Pasta Code of Conduct
Oklahoma recently self-reported several violations to the NCAA, including what amounted to "abuse of a buffet" in the eyes of the university's compliance office.
Three student-athletes, including offensive linemen Gabe Ikard and Austin Woods (who identified themselves via Twitter), were cited for just eating too much pasta from a graduation banquet.
The "offense" was resolved with each donating $5 each to a charity of their choosing, and it was an offense that the NCAA stated was not an offense at all.
Michael Beasley's Skittles Addiction
Though pro athletes are often considered as being in top physical form, sometimes appearances are deceiving.
Case in point, former Phoenix Suns player and current Miami Heat small forward Michael Beasley, who admitted in 2013 interview that he eats "six to seven" packs of Skittles each day—a figure that supposedly reflected a personal effort to cut down on the candy.
Admittedly, I'm no scientist, but I can't imagine that a pound or so of sugary candy would ever be considered part of a healthy diet—for an NBA player or anyone, for that matter.
Derrick Rose Used to Eat Like an Unsupervised Toddler
Chicago Bulls star point guard Derrick Rose's career has been a frustrating combination of tantalizing hints of greatness followed by devastating injury.
Currently rehabbing a knee injury, Rose has cited a change in diet as keying a new approach to training—which is great news for Bulls fans, because it sounds like he was following the Augustus Gloop School of Healthy Eating.
According to former teammate Robert Dozier, per KUSports.com (h/t Eamonn Brennan of Yahoo! Sports), Rose at one point was just eating "candy and pineapple and syrup. He never really eats real food. Eating grilled cheese sandwiches, things kids eat. He’s 19, he eats like he’s eight ... He needs (a food pyramid)."
Manchester United's Kagawa Innovates Overeating
Typically, when you hear about someone having his or her stomach pumped, the story includes something about ingesting poison or attempting to use prescription pills to hurt him or herself.
In the case of Manchester United midfielder Shinji Kagawa, he apparently had his stomach pumped late last year due to a case of "going for thirds." The footballer allegedly was rushed to the hospital after falling ill in December, and the culprit was overeating.
Louis Meyer's (Butter)Milk Chugging Legacy
One of the traditions of the Indianapolis 500 is the winner chugging milk from a bottle like an emaciated kitten.
Not champagne, not sparkling grape juice or even a cold brew...but milk.
It's all thanks to Louis Meyer, the legendary racer, who, after winning a second consecutive Indy 500 in 1933, asked officials for a childhood favorite: buttermilk.
Understandably, the tradition was tweaked to save the winner from being unintentionally punished by replacing the beverage with plain milk.
Pirates Pitcher Gerrit Cole Snacks on a Booger
In 2013, the Pittsburgh Pirates earned a spot in the MLB playoffs, snapping a 21-year postseason drought. One of the low-lights in a season of highlights was undoubtedly this moment caught by cameras.
Pirates pitcher Gerrit Cole, former No. 1 overall pick of the 2011 MLB draft, went on a spelunking journey into his nose before plucking an apparent keeper, which he then inspects before eating.
LSU Coach Les Miles Samples the Turf
Yes, Les Miles is not an athlete, but the LSU head coach is one of the major figures in college athletics, and his game day tradition is just too strange to not include.
The enigmatic Miles claims that snacking on a little of the field's turf during the game is a ritual that "humbles me as a man, that lets me know that I'm a part of the field and part of the game," per Zac Ellis of Sports Illustrated.
Considering his impressive record with LSU, eating grass is certainly not a failure of tradition, but it's a failure of palate.
Lamar Odom is King of the Candy
The former husband and reality show pinata of Khloe Kardashian has a long and sordid relationship with that forbidden but delicious villain known as sugar.
From documented shopping trips where Odom fills his cart with candy to midnight candy binges, the man makes all other candy addictions seem downright balanced.
MMA Fighter Lyoto Machida's Secret Weapon
UFC middleweight Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida is 21-4 as a fighter, and the dude isn't bashful about one of the secrets to his success (though you'll wish he was).
In 2009, the Brazilian described his training regimen to Tatame, a fighting magazine based in Machida's home country, that he "drink[s] [his] urine each morning like a natural medicine."