This Week in Annoying: The Worst in Sports Right Now
Thanks to the magnificence that is the MLB injury bug, we had quite a bit to discuss this week.
Welcome back to another rousing edition of all that is wrong in sports, brought to you by a guy with as big of a chip on his shoulder as the belly under his shirt.
This week we saw another amazing example of a perfectly fine athlete failing to maneuver life's little obstacles. Yes, it was a baseball player.
We also learned that beer cups at concession stands aren't always what they seem, which is only slightly more frustrating than trying to dunk off a trampoline and failing.
Not to worry, because all will be explained right now.
Never Listen to the Goalkeeper
Yahoo! Sports' Ryan Bailey spotted this brilliant video earlier in the week, featuring Western Sydney Wanderers and Sydney FC.
At some point in the match, soccer ceased and brain games were played. Here is how Bailey breaks it all down:
When the 51st-minute spot kick was awarded, the Croatian shot stopper made the unusual decision to tell Wanderers striker Mark Bridge exactly where to place it. As you can see in the video above, he points to his left side several times and Janjetovic even claims he told Bridge to shoot towards that side of the goal.
The Sydney FC goalkeeper, Vedran Janjetovic, decided the easiest way to take out the guesswork in the match was to just inform the striker where to go.
Let this be a lesson to would-be strikers out there: The goalkeepers are not your friends.
You can almost hear R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" in your head as you watch this poor soul failing in the most epic way imaginable.
Bleacher Report's Kyle Newport informs that this moment of futility was brought to the Internet by Liberty University's SOAR Dunk team, a group that, "lets high school students show what they could do with a basketball and a trampoline."
For one student, the answer was a resounding, "not much."
Baseball Injury Bug
If you are scoring at home, we have now had three victims bitten by that darn MLB injury bug, a nefarious sucker that not only brings pain but also a great deal of shame.
This week we found out that Josh Beckett had sprained his finger, but it was the manner in which he did so that caught the Internet's attention.
The L.A. Times' Dylan Hernandez writes, "Beckett said his thumb was caught in a set of doors leading into the clubhouse about 10 days ago."
Only in this sport would a set of doors be a reason to worry.
Even Drunk, This Seems Like a Bad Deal
Depending on how you look at this, fans at CenturyLink Arena are either getting ripped off, paying extra for a taller cup that doesn't yield more liquid, or they are getting quite a handsome discount on the "medium" size beer.
OK, this is a ripoff, because who buys the small of anything? This is America, right?
ESPN reports fans of the Idaho Steelheads hockey team did some sleuthing and found out there wasn't really anything large about the "large" size beer, save the price.
Rest easy, because new 24-ounce cups are on the way, which hardly makes up for the fact that tailgating is still the way to go.
Justin Bieber's Shake and Bake
Here is Justin Bieber's manager, Scooter Braun, massaging the ego of his pop star, dropping to his back like he wants to become valedictorian at the Vlade Divac School of Flopping.
Next Impulse Sports' Paul Sacca spotted this video that only enforces the rule that nothing good ever comes from watching a Bieber video.