Michael Vick Now Available to Any Team Looking for QB Downgrade (Satire)

The Sports Comedian by Analyst Written on June 13, 2009
6 Jan 2002: Quarterback Michael Vick #7 of  the Atlanta Falcons fumbles the ball as Leonard Little #91 of the St. Louis Rams defends at the Dome at America's Center in St. Louis, Missouri. The Rams recovered the fumble. The St. Louis Rams beat the Atlanta Falcons 31-13.  DIGITAL IMAGE. Mandatory Credit: Elsa /Getty Images

Michael Vick was officially released by the Atlanta Falcons today, meaning he is now a free agent. Known for being a great athlete, but not such a stellar passer, it has been wondered where Vick might land.

But, despite these concerns, many teams have expressed interest in the former phenom who has spent the last 2 years in prison on dogfighting charges.

"We've actually been looking for a downgrade at the QB position for quite awhile now," said New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick. "We have had outstanding quarterback play for far too long.

"It just allows teams to gameplan against our perfect routes and well thrown passes. What we need is a wildcard under center, someone who our opponents will never be able to guess what he's going to do wrong. You can plan how to exploit a weakness, but Vick has so many weaknesses, they'll never be able to plan for them all."

Belichick hopes to bring Vick out for a workout to see if he can still be as bad as he was before he left the league. The coach hopes Vick hasn't been practicing or anything while serving time.

Also hoping to be in the mix for the QB are the Cleveland Browns.

"Wow, the things he can do with dogs," said GM George Kokinis. "As a team symbolized by dogs, we have for too long been quiet lapdogs for the rest of the league. Obviously Vick knows how to whip them into shape and turn them into fighters, and that's just what this team needs.

"He can build some cages next to the locker room, maybe have Braylon Edwards put in there every time he drops a pass during a game. He'll have these guys ready to kill out there on the field, or in a smoky dimly lit basement, wherever there is football to be played."

SportsComedian.com
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written on June 13, 2009 Humor

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