On Sunday evening, the American film industry celebrates itself with the 86th Annual Academy Awards.
As Hollywood's finest fawn over one another and appraise their art in a grandiose and self-congratulating fashion, B/R has taken the opportunity to compare footballers to Oscar-nominated actors past and present...
When Gwyneth Paltrow won the Best Actress Oscar for Shakespeare in Love in 1998, she blubbed like a grateful baby as she gave her worthy acceptance speech.
When Cristiano Ronaldo finally got his name back on the Ballon d'Or trophy earlier this year, he showed a similar secretion of tears on the podium. Perhaps he was channeling Gwynny's famous performance?
Jennifer Lawrence picked up the Best Actress gong for her performance in David O. Russell's Silver Linings Playbook.
As she went to accept the award, she fell over. Naturally, this makes her like Ashley Young, who is always falling over in the spotlight.
When the Manchester United winger goes down, however, Hugh Jackman isn't usually there to pick him up.
Denzel Washington received his second Best Actor nomination in 2012 for don't-watch-it-before-you-go-to-the-airport drama Flight.
In it, we discovered Denzel's Whip Whitaker wasn't able to handle flying that well. A lot like Dennis Bergkamp, who is famous for being terrified of air travel.
Not so long ago, Matthew McConaughey was the go-to guy for superfluous rom-coms, which usually involved him leaning against his female lead on the poster.
With recent films like Killer Joe, Mud and Dallas Buyers Club, the man formally known as "Matthew Mahogany" is being taken very seriously as a credible actor.
His transition from source of ridicule to man at the top of his game is very similar to Jordan Henderson, who has really started justifying his price tag this season.
Anthony Hopkins won the Best Actor gong in 1991 for his portrayal of Dr. Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs.
The incarcerated doctor was known for his predilection to feat on human flesh. We'll let you draw the dots as to why he is like Liverpool's Luis Suarez.
Warning: video contains NSFW language
After a 2009 Champions League defeat to Barcelona, Didier Drogba harangued referee Tom Henning Ovrebo and famously gave his "f-----g disgrace" rant at a TV camera.
Around the same time, 2013 Best Actor nominee Christian Bale delivered an expletive-ridden rant on the set of Terminator Salvation (very NSFW link here).
It's almost as if they were channeling one another's angry energy.
Sandra Bullock is nominated for Best Actress for her leading role in British-made drama Gravity.
She is a lot like Juventus midfield playmaker Andrea Pirlo: She is capable of great things when she has a lot of space around her.
As he proved in the leading role of Tom Hooper's Les Miserables, Hugh Jackman needs only the slimmest of excuses to break out into song.
There are plenty of footballers who can hold a tune, but let's draw special attention to Morten Gamst Pedersen, who once formed a part of The Players, a boy band made up entirely of Norwegian footballers.
Your move, One Direction.
In the same film where Jackman showed us his dulcet tones, three-time Best Actor nominee Russell Crowe showed us that he should probably stick to the questionable accents and throwing telephones at hotel staff.
The Aussie bad boy is a bit like Carlos Tevez, who probably shouldn't do too much singing in public.
Warning: clip contains NSFW language
Cuba Gooding Jr. won Best Supporting Actor in 1997 for his role as NFL player Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire.
The fictional wide receiver has a lot in common with John Terry. Much like the Chelsea defender, Tidwell was holding on for a contract for one more season at the team where he had spent his career.
Also, Terry strikes us as the kind of player who prefers to "air dry" rather than use a towel.
Brad Pitt earned a nod from the Academy in 2008, for his role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
In the movie, Pitt's eponymous character appeared to get younger and younger—a lot like Wayne Rooney following his series of hair transplants.
Button also has a relationship with Cate Blanchett, who appears much older than him. And we all know about Rooney's reputation with older ladies.
If Tottenham midfielder Sandro was an Oscar-nominated actor, he'd be Joaquin Phoenix.
The reason? They're both as mad as a box of frogs.
Daniel Day-Lewis won the first of his three Best Actor Oscars for his performance in My Left Foot in 1989.
The heavyweight English actor is at the very top of his game and can always be relied on for a consistently high standard of performance.
This makes him a lot like a footballer with a very special left foot: Lionel Messi.
James Franco received a Best Actor nod in 2010 for his work in 127 Hours, the true story of an adventurer who found his arm trapped within a Utah canyon.
Franco's character has a lot in common with Diego Maradona, who has also been caught out putting his arm where it shouldn't be.
Mickey Rourke was nominated in 2008 for his portrayal of Randy "The Ram" Robinson in The Wrestler.
In Darren Aronofsky's acclaimed film about a washed-up fighter, Rourke had to act like he was injured quite a lot. Sergio Busquets does the same thing during games regularly.