Yo, Raul Ibanez: Calm Down, Baby!

Jux Berg by Columnist Written on June 11, 2009
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 06:  Raul Ibanez #29 of the Philadelphia Phillies bats against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium on June 6, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. The Dodgers defeated the Phillies 3-2 in 12 innings.  (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images) (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

Alright, Mr. Ibanez, lemme ask you this.  Have you been living under a rock for the past five years?  Haven’t you seen what happens to athletes who go out of their way to defend themselves against steroid accusations? 

Come on, baby—you’re having a great season.  Just sit back, relax, enjoy being on a winning ball club, take a look at that fat bank account, have yourself a giant steak and some lobster, and chill. 

You see, while I understand that getting accused of doing something you did not do is infuriating, you don’t want to throw gasoline on the fire.  And, speaking of “fire,” it seems to me that nobody accused you of a thing.  

The blogger merely said that your gigantic statistical jump would probably raise suspicion, simply because of the recent steroid media outburst.  The blogger also went to great lengths to defend you and give you the benefit of the doubt. 

I mean, hey, you played in Safeco Field on a team with a garbage line-up.  You had f***in' RICHIE SEXSON hitting behind you! 

And now, you play in arguably the easiest park to mash and find yourself in one of the most stacked line-ups in all of baseball.  Add in the change of scenery effect, and yeah, it’s entirely possible that you’re just feeling good and getting some juicy pitches to rake. 

Frankly, I don’t care if you used PEDs or not.  I just think you should relax and let it all go away quietly.  But hey, you’re a big boy, you can do what you want.  Good luck buddy.

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written on June 11, 2009 Opinion

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