Exploring the Trade Value for NFL Head Coaches

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Exploring the Trade Value for NFL Head Coaches
Ben Margot/Associated Press
"Simmer down."

We might be in the thick of NFL draft season, but there is no shortage of league-wide news. Take the seemingly ludicrous news out of Cleveland from last week, for example.

Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk fame dropped the bombshell story just as the NFL Scouting Combine was getting revved up.

It was a bizarre story that strained credulity. Why would Jim Harbaugh leave a good thing in San Francisco—a team rich with talent and draft picks that has competed at the highest level since he arrived—to go to Cleveland, a black hole of football success?

Of course, the 49ers and Jim Harbaugh himself denied the reports.

The saga continued into the weekend, when Jimmy Haslam confirmed there was an "opportunity" to trade for Harbaugh, per Jarrett Bell of USA Today. We will probably never know the whole truth.

At any rate, it was quite the hullabaloo about a non-event—the trade never happened and may never have even materialized out of the ether of brilliant ideas.

But it got me thinking—what is the trade value for each NFL head coach?

Head Coach Trade Values
Coach Team Value
Bruce Arians Arizona Cardinals Ben Roethlisberger, a fourth-round draft pick and a case of Hot Pockets.
Mike Smith Atlanta Falcons Two season passes to Six Flags Atlanta and one shipment of Atlanta Falcons 2012 NFC Champion t-shirts
John Harbaugh Baltimore Ravens Lisa Courtney's Pokemon collection and the original collective works of Edgar Allen Poe
Doug Marrone Buffalo Bills A monthly subscription to orangeglad.com and one snowblower
Ron Rivera Carolina Panthers The Steamboat Natchez
Marc Trestman Chicago Bears The Molson Brewery
Marvin Lewis Cincinnati Bengals One Bengal tiger cub, a third-round pick and the rights to the Ickey Shuffle
Mike Pettine Cleveland Browns A poster of LeBron James autographed by Dan Gilbert
Jason Garrett Dallas Cowboys One bottle of eye bleach and the Adam Sandler film anthology
John Fox Denver Broncos Two copies of Ayne Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and a figurine of George Minne's Fountain of Kneeling Youths
Jim Caldwell Detroit Lions A one-year pass to Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum
Mike McCarthy Green Bay Packers The rights to Brett Favre's beard and 150,000 shares in the Packers
Bill O’Brien Houston Texans Josh McDaniels
Chuck Pagano Indianapolis Colts Jim Irsay’s liquor cabinet and Heisenberg's barrel
Gus Bradley Jacksonville Jaguars The Jacksonville Sharks AFL franchise
Andy Reid Kansas City Chiefs One Taco Bell franchise or a year’s supply Jack Stack Barbeque
Joe Philbin Miami Dolphins An autographed photograph of Larry Coker and a case of Natty Light
Mike Zimmer Minnesota Vikings The Janis boxed set of cassette tapes
Bill Belichick New England Patriots Martha’s Vineyard, one rack of Old Navy hoodies and a pair of scissors
Sean Payton New Orleans Saints The film-original Boba Fett costume and 30 seconds to peruse Steve Spurrier’s hat collection
Tom Coughlin New York Giants Three bottles of laudanum and the deed to Eli Manning’s soul
Rex Ryan New York Jets A $1,000 gift certificate to DSW and one coupon for laser tattoo removal treatment
Dennis Allen Oakland Raiders A 1992 Ford Tempo and two tickets to Celine Dion at Caesar's Palace
Chip Kelly Philadelphia Eagles The nuclear launch codes
Mike Tomlin Pittsburgh Steelers An autographed cardboard cutout of Willie Mays Hayes and two fourth-round picks
Mike McCoy San Diego Chargers The water rights to the San Joaquin River
Jim Harbaugh San Francisco 49ers The Kohl's men's collection, a Breville espresso machine and all the cake, now
Pete Carroll Seattle Seahawks A lifetime supply of free trade coffee and a trip to space with Kate Upton
Jeff Fisher St Louis Rams A year's supply of Just For Men Brush-In Color Gel, Beard and Mustache (brown) and Javon Ringer
Lovie Smith Tampa Bay Buccaneers Grant Balfour's monster truck and Peanut Tillman
Ken Whisenhunt Tennessee Titans The Star Wars trilogy laser disc boxed set
Jay Gruden Washington Kirk Cousins

Miglio Blue Book

Your move, Haslam.

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