We might be in the thick of NFL draft season, but there is no shortage of league-wide news. Take the seemingly ludicrous news out of Cleveland from last week, for example.
Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk fame dropped the bombshell story just as the NFL Scouting Combine was getting revved up.
Sources: Browns nearly traded with 49ers for Jim Harbaugh http://t.co/Omg12Odz4N— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) February 21, 2014
It was a bizarre story that strained credulity. Why would Jim Harbaugh leave a good thing in San Francisco—a team rich with talent and draft picks that has competed at the highest level since he arrived—to go to Cleveland, a black hole of football success?
I can see why Jim Harbaugh would want to go to Cleveland. He'd be the most fashionable guy there by a fair margin.— sir broosk (@celebrityhottub) February 21, 2014
The ONLY way a Harbaugh trade makes sense is if there is a major rift between JH and Baalke. For that I'd defer to Maiocco or Kawakami.— NFL Philosophy (@NFLosophy) February 22, 2014
Of course, the 49ers and Jim Harbaugh himself denied the reports.
The saga continued into the weekend, when Jimmy Haslam confirmed there was an "opportunity" to trade for Harbaugh, per Jarrett Bell of USA Today. We will probably never know the whole truth.
At any rate, it was quite the hullabaloo about a non-event—the trade never happened and may never have even materialized out of the ether of brilliant ideas.
But it got me thinking—what is the trade value for each NFL head coach?
|Head Coach Trade Values|
|Bruce Arians||Arizona Cardinals||Ben Roethlisberger, a fourth-round draft pick and a case of Hot Pockets.|
|Mike Smith||Atlanta Falcons||Two season passes to Six Flags Atlanta and one shipment of Atlanta Falcons 2012 NFC Champion t-shirts|
|John Harbaugh||Baltimore Ravens||Lisa Courtney's Pokemon collection and the original collective works of Edgar Allen Poe|
|Doug Marrone||Buffalo Bills||A monthly subscription to orangeglad.com and one snowblower|
|Ron Rivera||Carolina Panthers||The Steamboat Natchez|
|Marc Trestman||Chicago Bears||The Molson Brewery|
|Marvin Lewis||Cincinnati Bengals||One Bengal tiger cub, a third-round pick and the rights to the Ickey Shuffle|
|Mike Pettine||Cleveland Browns||A poster of LeBron James autographed by Dan Gilbert|
|Jason Garrett||Dallas Cowboys||One bottle of eye bleach and the Adam Sandler film anthology|
|John Fox||Denver Broncos||Two copies of Ayne Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and a figurine of George Minne's Fountain of Kneeling Youths|
|Jim Caldwell||Detroit Lions||A one-year pass to Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum|
|Mike McCarthy||Green Bay Packers||The rights to Brett Favre's beard and 150,000 shares in the Packers|
|Bill O’Brien||Houston Texans||Josh McDaniels|
|Chuck Pagano||Indianapolis Colts||Jim Irsay’s liquor cabinet and Heisenberg's barrel|
|Gus Bradley||Jacksonville Jaguars||The Jacksonville Sharks AFL franchise|
|Andy Reid||Kansas City Chiefs||One Taco Bell franchise or a year’s supply Jack Stack Barbeque|
|Joe Philbin||Miami Dolphins||An autographed photograph of Larry Coker and a case of Natty Light|
|Mike Zimmer||Minnesota Vikings||The Janis boxed set of cassette tapes|
|Bill Belichick||New England Patriots||Martha’s Vineyard, one rack of Old Navy hoodies and a pair of scissors|
|Sean Payton||New Orleans Saints||The film-original Boba Fett costume and 30 seconds to peruse Steve Spurrier’s hat collection|
|Tom Coughlin||New York Giants||Three bottles of laudanum and the deed to Eli Manning’s soul|
|Rex Ryan||New York Jets||A $1,000 gift certificate to DSW and one coupon for laser tattoo removal treatment|
|Dennis Allen||Oakland Raiders||A 1992 Ford Tempo and two tickets to Celine Dion at Caesar's Palace|
|Chip Kelly||Philadelphia Eagles||The nuclear launch codes|
|Mike Tomlin||Pittsburgh Steelers||An autographed cardboard cutout of Willie Mays Hayes and two fourth-round picks|
|Mike McCoy||San Diego Chargers||The water rights to the San Joaquin River|
|Jim Harbaugh||San Francisco 49ers||The Kohl's men's collection, a Breville espresso machine and all the cake, now|
|Pete Carroll||Seattle Seahawks||A lifetime supply of free trade coffee and a trip to space with Kate Upton|
|Jeff Fisher||St Louis Rams||A year's supply of Just For Men Brush-In Color Gel, Beard and Mustache (brown) and Javon Ringer|
|Lovie Smith||Tampa Bay Buccaneers||Grant Balfour's monster truck and Peanut Tillman|
|Ken Whisenhunt||Tennessee Titans||The Star Wars trilogy laser disc boxed set|
|Jay Gruden||Washington||Kirk Cousins|
|Miglio Blue Book|
Your move, Haslam.