To create the perfect winger we will combine certain elements of the best exponents of the lateral arts in world football at present, with stars such as Arjen Robben, Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo included.
Ronaldo is, in fact, not far from the perfect winger himself, so we can take him as our starting point and add a few upgrades to make an even more formidable wide midfielder.
The ultimate wing player should have pace, stamina, an ability to cross accurately and consistently, fine dribbling skills and a knack for scoring goals.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
There are not many wingers around, though, who possess all of those attributes.
By the time he's put together, our creation, who we will name "Nick Bradshaw," should prove to be the supreme wing man.
Possessing considerable pace is a massive advantage for wide players. So often an extra burst of speed down the flank can create clear goal-scoring chances.
In terms of judging pure speed, FIFA has already done the research for us. According to football's governing body, Ecuadorian Antonio Valencia is the fastest player in the game, as reported by Ian Stewart Palmer of ftbpro.com.
The Manchester United winger has been clocked at 21.9 miles per hour (35.2 km/h), which sees him pip the likes of Bale, Aaron Lennon and Cristiano for the title of the game's speediest player.
Bradshaw's legs, therefore, will be powered by Valencia.
Real Madrid and Argentina star Angel Di Maria has a whole host of talents, and along with his skills on the ball, he is also an extremely hard worker who is never afraid to bomb up and down the touchline tirelessly for an entire match.
His stamina and graft combined with his other, more obvious attacking attributes are what make him such a valuable player for club and country.
Bradshaw's engine comes courtesy of Mr. Di Maria.
Another player who brings an enormous amount to the table is Bayern Munich's Franck Ribery. One of the finest footballers in the world at the moment, the Frenchman is a potent attacking weapon due to his multifaceted game.
Here we are going to pluck out his superb crossing ability, however, and implant that into our lucky hybrid.
There are few better dribblers in the game than Dutchman Robben. The Bayern speedster is as elusive as an escaped bar of wet soap in the shower. Once he gets going, he is very difficult for the opposition to get a hold of.
His nifty footwork will be added to Bradshaw's bag of tricks.
Just to be greedy, we are going to add in some of Bale's more direct, but equally hard-to-stop running style.
As previously mentioned, Real Madrid's Ronaldo could well have made an appearance in any of the above categories, such is the strength of his all-round game.
But our winger has been gifted with Cristiano's shooting abilities. You know, the ones that see him break scoring records just about every season?
With CR7's goal-scoring touch, the assemblage of our super winger, Nick Bradshaw, is complete.
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