ECW Epics (June 9): Return of a Hardcore Legend!

The theme song for ECW Epics (Faith No More - Epic) plays as the show gets underway.

Matt Striker:
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of ECW Epics! We are only two days removed from the Extreme Rules Pay Per View, and we saw some astounding results, didn’t we Tazz?

Tazz:
Yeah that’s for sure! We saw an awesome Feast or Fired Match, with the unlucky recipient of the pink slip being Matt Morgan. I don’t expect to see that sorry bastard anytime soon!

Also, in possibly the biggest match of the night, we saw Christian win the vacated ECW Championship.

Matt Striker:
Our backstage correspondent, Gregory Helms, is currently standing by with Batista.

Camera cuts to backstage where Batista is standing in plain clothes next to Helms.

Helms:
This past Sunday at Extreme Rules, you were the first man eliminated in the Hardcore Three Way Dance for the ECW Championship. How do you feel about that?

Batista:
Well Gregory, I was beaten by the Innovator of Hardcore, Tommy Dreamer, and the eventual winner of the match Christian. There’s no shame in that. They were the better men on the night.

Helms:
What toll did the match take on your body?

Batista:
I haven’t been in a Hardcore Match like that for a long time and, I gotta tell you, it was tough. I suffered a minor concussion due to receiving a con—chair—to; and as you can see I had to get stitches for the cut on top of my head.

Helms:
So where to next for “The Animal”?

Batista:
Tonight, I’ve got a match against a mystery opponent. I’ve been told by Paul Heyman that the winner of the match will be going to The Bash in an Unforgettable Match.

Helms:
Wow! Good luck with your match tonight!

Suicide goes on the offense. He hits a dropkick to Umaga’s head, quickly followed by a succession of kicks to his legs.

Umaga shakes his head and struggles to stay on his feet. He starts yelling in Samoan and retaliates by hitting Suicide with a heavy uppercut.

Umaga whips Suicide into the ropes. As Suicide is returning he tries to hit a front dropkick but he gets caught by Umaga, who swings Suicide around in circles and throws him into a corner headfirst.

Umaga approaches Suicide and starts stomping on him. Then he hits a Banzai Drop and goes for the pin 1...2...late kick out by Suicide.

Umaga picks up Suicide and drives him into the canvas with a Samoan drop. Umaga walks over to the corner and climbs onto the second rope.

He jumps off and lands a Diving Headbutt. Suicide is picked up again and he’s struck by a Samoan Spike. Umaga covers his opponent. 1...2...3!

Winner: Umaga

Umaga continues the assault after the match. He picks up Suicide and holds him by his throat, ready to hit a second Samoan Spike.

R-Truth emerges from the crowd and jumps the barricade to make the save. He has a steel chair in hand and uses it to scare off Umaga.

Paul Heyman runs to the ring looking angry.

Heyman:
What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t I make myself clear last week when I fired you? I’ll say it again: YOU’RE FIRED! Now get out my ring! No, GET OUT OF MY ARENA!

R-Truth:
You can’t kick me out! I’m a paying customer, see. (He holds up his ticket.) I have just as much right to be here as all of these fans do!

Heyman:
Well in that case, you’re trespassing. Fans aren’t allowed to jump the barricade. Can someone come out here and take care of this guy?

Out comes...Booker T!

Booker T:
R-Truth. You've been trying to imitate me ever since you came back to WWE. You're nothing compared to me. If you want to perform MY moves, you gotta learn how to do them, sucka! Here, I'll show you.

Booker T drops his mic and kicks R-Truth in the stomach. R-Truth doubles over in pain and gets hit by a Scissor Kick from Booker T. R-Truth is laying motionless on the canvas.

Heyman calls out security and they drag him backstage. Crowd boos loudly.

(Commercial break)

Back from the break and there’s a replay of what happened to R-Truth.

Tazz:
After last week, I never expected to see R-Truth here tonight. I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing, pissing off Paul Heyman. If you get on the wrong side of Pauly, you can pretty much kiss your career goodbye!

Matt Striker:
Yeah, that's right, Tazz!

Coming up we’ve got the Knockouts Champion, ODB, defending her belt against Victoria, but after the break we’ll get to watch the tag teams of Beer Money Inc. and LAX go at it. Stay Tuned!

(Commercial break)

LAX get attacked mid—match by Hawkins and Ryder. Beer Money retains as LAX and Hawkins and Ryder brawl. Hawkins and Ryder run through the crowd and escape. LAX chase after them.

James Storm and Homicide start the match.

They start talking trash and stepping towards each other. Storm throws a punch and it connects square in Homicide's jaw. Homicide reels backwards from the impact and tries to regain his focus.

Homicide composes himself and goes on the attack. He runs at Storm and hits him with a leg lariat.

He picks up Storm and hits him with a cutter. Homicide then climbs to the top rope and hits a Frog Splash.

He goes for the cover. 1...2...kick out by Storm.

Both men get to their feet and Storm starts throwing punches left and right. Homicide gets backed into his corner when Hernandez tags himself in.

Hernandez enters the ring hitting a Slingshot Shoulder Block. Storm tries to crawl towards his corner for the tag but gets dragged back by Hernandez. Storm kicks Hernandez away and jumps to his corner where he finally makes the tag with Robert Roode.

Roode runs at Hernandez and gets hit with a huge spinebuster. Hernandez picks him up and holds him over his head. He throws Roode out of the ring with a Border Toss!

Roode slowly stands up, obviously in severe pain. Hernandez runs the ring ropes and hits a suicide dive on Roode. All four men brawl outside the ring.

As if from nowhere, Hawkins and Ryder rush the ring and attack LAX. The referee calls the match off due to disqualification.

Winners: Beer Money Inc.

Hawkins and Ryder continue their assault on LAX. The two tag teams brawl for a while until Hawkins and Ryder jump over the barricade and escape into the crowd. LAX reluctantly walk to the back, disappointed that they didn't win a clean match.

Paul Heyman walks to the ring with his assistant Tiffany.

Heyman:
At Extreme Rules we saw a TLC Match, a Hell in a Cell Match and even a Glass Table Elimination Match. The problem I have is that none of those matches were from my brand. This is EC F’N W! We have the most hardcore type of wrestling in the world. The fans expect to see blood, so that’s what I’m gonna give ‘em.

At The Bash there will be one of the most brutal matches imaginable. We are going to prove to the rest of the WWE universe that ECW is the home of hardcore. To do that, I’ve decided to add a new superstar to the roster. Please welcome, ABYSS!

Abyss comes out to a decent pop. He steps into the ring and takes Heyman’s microphone.

Abyss:
Paul Heyman contacted me on Sunday night and asked if I would come to ECW and bring with me a special match that will demonstrate how far a superstar will go to win a match. I agreed and here I am.

At The Bash, five men will compete in a match that I have more experience in then anyone else on the planet. It will be a Five Way Monsters Ball match!

The crowd goes nuts for the Monsters Ball match. Heyman takes back his microphone.

Heyman:
That’s right, a Five Way Monsters Ball match. The first person to pin an opponent will win. The prize of this match will be a shot at the ECW Championship at Night of Champions. So far there are four confirmed superstars in this match. They are: Abyss, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer and Raven.

Tonight Batista will be facing off against a mystery opponent, and the winner will fill the fifth spot in the Monsters Ball match.

Matt Striker:
Oh my god, Tazz! This is unbelievable!

Tazz:
I’m lucky enough to have never had to compete in one of these matches. I tell you, I don’t envy those superstars one bit!

(commercial break)

As soon as the bell rings, ODB hits Victoria with a spear!

Victoria isn't expecting it and takes the full brunt of the attack in the stomach. Victoria hits the ground winded and is visibly having trouble breathing.

ODB pulls her to her feet and proceeds to deliver several knife edge chops. Victoria blocks a chop and counters with a forearm smash.

ODB backs away and is struck by a super kick to the chin. Victoria follows up with a Standing Moonsault and goes for a pin. 1...2...kick out!

ODB gets pulled to her feet and whipped into the ring ropes. She reverses it and hits Victoria with a clothesline on the rebound. Victoria gets up instantly, looking to mount an attack, but she gets whipped into a corner.

ODB approaches Victoria and steps up the ropes. ODB hits her with a Dirty Dozen—12 punches followed by a diving Thesz press pin. 1...2...3!

Winner and still Knockouts champion: ODB

We go to a commercial break as we see ODB raising the championship belt above her head.

Back from the break and Brian Kendrick’s music is playing as he walks to the ring. He grabs the microphone from the ring announcer.

Kendrick:
I’m out here to let you know what I have chosen as my match stipulation for the Intercontinental Championship match at The Bash. Thanks to this baby (raises briefcase), I get to choose any match I want.

I have decided that it will be a Two vs. Two Tag Team match. If my team wins, I’m the new Intercontinental Champion. If Mysterio wins, somehow, he will retain the belt. I’m calling you out Mysterio. Who do you want as your tag team partner?

Mysterio’s music plays as he comes to the ring with a smile on his face.

Mysterio:
A tag team match huh? Sounds good to me! I’ll choose my good friend, Evan Bourne!

Bourne’s music plays and he comes to the ring and stands at Rey’s side. The two shake hands.

Kendrick:
Very well. Choose this twerp if you want. I’d like to introduce my partner.

Kendrick’s old music plays and out onto the stage emerges...PAUL LONDON!

London runs to the ring and perform his classic entrance, complete with a backflip off the corner turnbuckle. London and Kendrick high five each other.

Mysterio:
Paul London? You're picking Paul London?

Kendrick:
Actually, no. My partner is THE Paul London and we are THE tag team.

Mysterio:
So you think that my partner Evan Bourne is a twerp? Then I suppose you wouldn’t have a problem facing him in a match tonight?

You got lucky getting that briefcase at Extreme Rules, and in my book you need to earn that title shot. Tonight you’ll get your chance.

The two big men lock up to start the bout. Batista shows his strength and drives Kane backwards into a corner.

Kane pushes back and manages to push out from the corner. They break the hold and stare each other down.

Kane hits Batista with a devastating uppercut. Batista backs away from the force of the punch and leans on the ring ropes to collect himself. Batista explodes from his position and hits Kane with a clothesline.

Batista stomps on Kane while he's on the ground, stopping him from rising. He grabs one of Kane's legs and locks in a figure four leglock.

Kane is in agony, lashing out at Batista, trying to get him to release his legs. He finally connects and Batista breaks free.

Kane gets up trying to get some feeling back in his knee. Batista also stands up and charges at Kane, going for a spear.

Instead he is smacked in the face by a big boot from Kane. Batista hits the canvas hard and his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Kane hits a couple of elbow drops before going for the pin. 1...early kick out by The Animal.

Kane gets up and waits for Batista to stand, while flexing his right hand. Batista struggles to his feet.

He turns around and a massive hand clutches at his throat. Kane lifts Batista high above the ground and throws him over the top rope!

Batista hits the floor outside with an audible thud. There are no signs of life while the referee counts him out.

The ref is up to seven before Batista starts to stir. 8...Batista tries to sit up, with great effort. 9...Batista can't fathom the strength to rise to his feet. He collapses just as the ref gets to 10.

Winner by count out: Kane

Kane will be the fifth participant in the Monsters Ball match at The Bash.

The two high-flyers go back and forth at the start of the match. They alternate punches and the crowd is really getting into it.

Crowd:
Yeah! Boo! Yeah! Boo!

Kendrick gets the upper hand and hits multiple forearms. Bourne tries to shield himself without any luck. Kendrick runs to the ropes and strikes Bourne with a springboard back elbow. Bourne goes to the ground.

Mysterio is in Bourne's corner pleading him to get up.

Kendrick jumps to the top rope and hits a double foot stamp. He goes for a pin but Bourne kicks out before the ref's hand can even touch the mat. Bourne jumps to his feet and immediately performs a head-scissors take-down.

Kendrick is lying dazed on the mat, so Bourne climbs the corner turnbuckles and sets up for an Air Bourne—Shooting Star Press. Paul London runs over to Bourne while he's still on the top turnbuckle. London shapes up to punch Bourne when Kendrick jumps to his feet and pulls him down to the canvas.

Kendrick, still holding onto Bourne's arm, pulls Bourne to his feet, puts him in a reverse headlock and hits Sliced Bread. Kendrick goes for the cover. 1...2...3!

Winner: The Brian Kendrick

Kendrick and London celebrate outside the ring while Bourne and Mysterio complain to the referee.

(commercial break)

In the ring there are two stools set up and it’s time for the Peep Show.

Christian’s music hits and it’s the biggest pop of the night by the crowd. Christian holds up his ECW championship belt while standing on stage and then proceeds to walk very gingerly to the ring. He has a bandage wrapped around his head from his injuries on Sunday.

Christian:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Peeps of all ages, welcome to your show! Welcome to the Peep Show!

My guest tonight is the new number one contender for MY ECW Championship, the “Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley!

Mick Foley comes out carrying a microphone, but he’s wearing a shirt with a wanted poster on it...

Foley:
I’m so sorry Christian. You see the “Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley couldn’t be here tonight. Instead you’ve got me! CACTUS JACK!

Cactus Jack attacks Christian with a stool, knocking Christian to the floor. Cactus Jack grabs Christian’s head and repeatedly delivers jab after jab until he wears himself out.

Cactus Jack goes to the outside and rips up the padding on the floor exposing a slab of concrete. He goes back in the ring and drags Christian’s limp body to the ground outside the ring.

Jack picks up Christian and has him set up for a double arm DDT. Christian suddenly realizes the predicament he’s in and reverses the hold, hitting a Killswitch.

The show finishes with Christian holding the belt while standing on the middle ropes staring down at an unconscious Cactus Jack.

This week Rey Mysterio's tag team partner, Evan Bourne, wrestled The Brian Kendrick. Next week it has been announced by Paul Heyman that The Brian Kendrick's tag team partner, The Paul London, will take on the Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio.

Will R-Truth invade next weeks show as a protest to Paul Heyman?

How will the contestants of the Monsters Ball match at The Bash prepare for what is sure to be one of the most grueling matches of their career?

Tune in next week to find the answers to these questions and more.

Keep an eye out for Friday's Smackdown Xplosion by Ben, and also check out next Monday's Raw Impact by GM Adam.

Thanks for reading! I would greatly appreciate it if you could take the time to leave a comment with your feedback on this week's show.