The 10 Worst NBA Nicknames

NBA players and nicknames go together like peas and carrots. The problem is that some of them don't really put the player in the greatest light.

If you or a family member created your nickname, it probably isn't that good. Usually it's the media, fellow players, or fans that give the best nicknames.

Nicknames are to be earned. They're a word or phrase that best describes your game, physical features, general style, or personality.

Sometimes these particular criteria get overlooked and that's when you get some of the worst nicknames ever.

Caron “Tough Juice” Butler

This nickname, and marketing tool, came from Caron Butler’s comments on how the Washington Wizards needed to get tougher.

“Yeah, some of us need to drink some tough juice,” Butler said.

How can a player that has seen the trainer’s room so many times tell his teammates to drink some “tough juice.” Most players miss at least a few games for one reason or another, but Butler hasn’t played at least 70 games the past three seasons.

"Injury-prone" is a better nickname for Butler.

Lafayette “Fat” Lever

How does one of the leagues best point guards in the 80's get this nickname? He’s not even one of the thickly built Baron Davis type guards. He had a very skinny 170-pound build.

Apparently it came from his brother who found it easier to call him Fat instead of his full name. This is why you don’t let family members give you nicknames.

Daniel “Boobie” Gibson

Moms and their nicknames, I swear. This would be a nice affectionate nickname until about the age of 11. After that it probably should be banned from being used, especially if you are an NBA player.

In what way can this nickname strike fear into its opponents? It can’t. Does this fit his personality?

If that’s the case, everyone is calling you soft and sensitive. I’ll stop the comparisons there before things get too crazy.

This is a nickname that circulates around the frat house about a promiscuous sorority chick. Gibson needs a new nickname and fast.

Jerome “Pooh” Richardson

Richardson got this nickname from his grandmother who thought he looked like Winnie The Pooh when he was younger. That’s so cute.

I hate it.

How are you supposed to be aggressive and attack when people keep calling you Pooh? They are basically calling you a “bear of little brain” as Pooh is known for not being very smart.

Ironically, Richardson and Pooh were both born/debuted in 1966.

Andre “Iggy” Iguodala.

Iggy isn’t necessarily a bad nickname, but Iguodala deserves so much better than just a simple twist of his real name.

Iggy has no intimidation factor, no aggressiveness, no…pop. Did I just make a pun? Yes I did. Hopefully as Igouoala improves, so will his nickname status

Latrell “The American Dream” Sprewell

Really?

I guess if choking your coach, choking girls on a yacht, losing millions of dollars and owing a large sum of taxes is the “American Dream,” I guess you’re right.

And who names their yacht “Milwaukee’s Best” anyway? That’s a double foul.

Tyler “Psycho T” Hansbrough.

I know he’s not quite in the league yet, but he will be in about a month so lets throw him in.

Come on now. Psycho T? Are we really giving that nickname to someone who makes his eyes bigger and got mad when his nose bled?

Jack Nicholson in The Shining: Psycho
Me and my unwavering support for the Oakland Raiders: Psycho (although I disagree.)
My ex-girlfriend: Psycho

Hansbrough is just a good kid from Missouri that will be a good role player in the NBA. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Wang

I thought we could do a little better for the first Chinese player to reach the NBA.

Nope.

We had to go with the name that can easily be misconstrued and has stereotypical irony in two little words—I mean big…aw, I give up.

Shaquille

I had a tough time choosing one out of the 3,257 self-nicknames Shaq has giving himself, but I think I found the right one.

Shaq is probably the person I have the biggest love-hate relationship with. His personality is fun, down to earth, and very endearing. That is until his big bravado, and contract, gets shipped to your town and he starts complaining.
In 2000, Shaq ended up quoting Aristotle in an interview. How clever of you Shaq. That doesn’t actually make you anything close to Aristotle. Aristotle was philosopher that shaped our morality, logic, politics, and sciences.

You…play basketball. I mean that's good and all, but it's no Aristotle.

Sure, you’re great for being an archive of somewhat poetic and amusing quotes, but Aristotle also had his fair share of insight. Lets compare.

“Hence poetry is something more philosophic and of graver import than history, since its statements are rather of the nature of universals, whereas those of history are singulars.” —Aristotle

“Kobe, tell my ass taste?” — Big Aristotle

Doesn’t seem equal does it?

Kobe

Laker Fans: Oh, no you didn’t.

Me: Oh, yes I did.

I know you’re thinking that “The Black Mamba” is a perfect name for Kobe. The black mamba (which oddly isn’t black) is one of the most feared snakes in the world. It’s second biggest venomous snake and is the fastest land snake in the world.

Like all snakes, it’s a cold-blooded creature and has venom that can kill you within 15 minutes to three hours. It even has one of the highest volumes of strikes among snakes, as it is able to attack up to 12 times in a row. All very Kobe-like, right?

The lameness isn’t in the comparisons to the snake—it comes from the all the other outlets that have used the term black mamba as a nickname.

Kobe must have peeked into Shaq’s playbook because this is a self-named nickname. The black mamba is also the name of one of Michael Jordan’s shoes that was released in 2004, the Air Jordan XIX.

If Kobe is still claiming he’s not trying to be Michael Jordan, this is not a good nickname to help that claim.

The black mamba is also a general expression for a female self-pleasing instrument. I think you know what I mean people. Don’t make me say it.

Black mamba is also synonymous with things such as a female marvel comic villain, a strand of cannabis, a sock puppet, and a rock band.

If you put it all together that means Kobe is a volume shooting, self-acclaimed Jordan wannabe, drug-using puppet villain and is a d**k…but he still rocks.

Comments welcome.