Review: Extreme Rules, Extreme Shock

robCorrespondent IJune 8, 2009

Let me start right away by saying if you haven't watched Extreme Rules yet and plan on watching it later or tomorrow, stop reading now and close this page.

For everyone else, I will try to keep this brief because I am wiped out and need to get to bed. I just couldn't close my eyes without unloading some of the words dying to get out of my brain, through my mouth, and onto this article.

Is anyone as shocked as I am? First of all, I think this was one of the best WWE Pay Per View events in a while. For the first time since probably No Way Out back in February, I feel my money was well spent. There were plenty of good matches on the card, as well as some surprises.

The Fatal Four Way match for the US Championship that opened up the event was, in my opinion, a very sufficient opening match.

Nothing incredible, but good enough to whet our appetites and to further the ever-growing phenomenon of Kofi Kingston. If this guy is used the right way, the sky is the limit.

The second match, which I knew was going to be a good one, was Mysterio vs. Jericho.

These guys didn't disappoint, and the ending of this match, which saw Jericho win his record ninth Intercontinental Championship and also remove Rey Mysterio's mask, was somewhat of a shock to me. I thought, "Maybe Jericho wins," but I never thought he would get the mask. Shocked...

The Samoan Strap Match between Umaga and CM Punk was probably the least anticipated match of the night for me, and this actually turned out to be OK. CM Punk got the victory.

The Triple Threat Match for the ECW Title was next. While my heart hoped Tommy Dreamer would pull out the win, my brain suggested Christian would retain or maybe Swagger would get the belt back.

Well, Tommy did win his elusive championship. It was a nice moment, and I, again, found myself somewhat shocked.

Santina vs. Vickie and Chavo in a Hog Pen Match. Sigh...

Moving on. For whatever reason the WWE Title match was the third to last match on the card. It pitted Batista against Randy Orton in a cage.

"Wow!" is all I can say.

Wow for the fact that, again, Orton looked like what I can only call a jobber, scared from the opening bell, trying to escape the cage and elude Batista.

The Animal basically pummelled Orton for eight minutes, with Batista finally bombing him and winning his first WWE Championship.

I have no idea why they chose to, once again, make their champion look like a scared punk. The fact that they put the title on Batista, I never saw that coming.

I am a big Batista fan, but even I know they shouldn't have the company's top title on him. I know a lot of writers and contributors in this community really dislike Batista, and I will say he definitely seems a step slower and worse since he has returned from injury. And we all know his mic skills are a bit lacking, so seeing him win that title tonight, especially so easily, really really shocked me.

Cena vs. Big Show was decent. I really wasn't looking forward to this match.

I don't enjoy watching the Big Slow. Plus, we have seen these two go at it so many times already, including the last Pay Per View event, Judgement Day.

But the Submission Match turned out to be okay and I didn't hate it. I thought Show would win this one, so I was surprised here, not shocked.

Now for the main event. Two of my favorite wrestlers in my favorite stipulation, a Ladder Match. Edge and Jeff Hardy put on nothing short of an incredible, spot-filled  match.

It was pretty much what you would expect from these two pioneers. All I wanted out of Extreme Rules was for Jeff Hardy to become a World Champion.

My heart was beating every time he got close to the top of the ladder. He wedged Edge into the ladder so he couldn't move and grabbed the belt to win the World Championship!

I almost had a tear in my eye. I was so happy.

Ahh, a nice night of sound sleep ahead for me. As I grabbed my remote to get ready to shut off my TV, I see Jim Ross standing in the ring so I said to myself, "Oh cool. Hardy's gonna get interviewed right now. I can't wait to hear what he has to say."

Before I could complete my thought, I heard a familiar song start blaring over the arena's cheers.

Then it clicks. OOOH NO, CM Punk! The briefcase! He's coming for Jeff! Shoot!

Of course, Punk cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase, and immediately hit a tired and beaten Jeff with the Go to Sleep.

I thought it was over, and then boom! Jeff kicked out!

I thought to myself, "Wow! Thank goodness he's not gonna lose it."  

Well, 30 seconds later Punk hits another Go to Sleep and the count to three seemed like it took 30 minutes. I screamed in my head, "NOOOOOO!!! KICK OUT!!" but it happened.

CM Punk, who I used to like, is your new World Heavyweight Champion. Jeff was the champ for about two minutes.

Needless to say, I sit here in my bed, shocked.

Nice job, WWE. You pulled at my heart strings and defied by brain's better judgment all night. For once in a long while, you guys did what you were supposed to do.

No matter how disturbed I am with the outcomes of the matches, I was completely enthralled with the events that took place at Extreme Rules. Now I have a night of sleepless misery ahead of me.

As Ron Simmons would say, "Damn!"

Thoughts, anyone? Please share with me, your frustration, anger, delight? Whatever it may be...


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