An Open Letter from Ben Gordon to Bulls Teammates: What's a Pass?

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Dear teammates,

Hurry, give me the ball! We're ahead by four in the first quarter, it's time for me to shine.

Yes, I got the ball, time to shoot!

Darn, missed it. Time to play half-assed defense.

YES! The ball again, time to shoot!

Sweet, I made it! Time to play half-assed defense.

Yes, the ball! Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me. YES! Its mine, time to shoot!

Made it. I'm the best.

Well, I've shot every time I've gotten the ball, and now its the fourth quarter and we're down by 10. Time to REALLY get my shoot on.

Hurry, give me the ball. Shoot!

Damn, missed it!

Wait, what? What's a pass?

You want me to what? Give YOU the ball. That's insane. I was taught, by myself, from a very young age, to shoot every time I got the ball.

Now, lets play some basketball. Based on my understanding of basketball, I'm supposed to play lackluster defense, then dart down the court, wait for the ball, then immediately shoot it, no matter how well-defended I am.

Re-sign with the who? The Bulls? Will you guys give me $50 million?

$40 million?! That's an insult...have you seen me shoot?

Whoever gives me $50 million is going to get the greatest, or at least most frequent, shooter in the game. Now give me the ball, we're up by two with 20 seconds left, its time for me to pick a terrible spot to launch an impossible three-pointer with two defenders right in my face.

Now, give me $50 million.

Sincerely,

Ben Gordon

P.S. Wheres my $50 million?

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