Stan Van Gundy: Time To Panic

Daniel Sandker by Contributor Written on June 05, 2009
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 04:  Dwight Howard #12  Jameer Nelson #14 and Mickael Pietrus #20 of the Orlando Magic look on during Game One of the 2009 NBA Finals against the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on June 4, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images) (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

After watching the Black Mamba strike 40 times on Thursday night, it's hard to imagine that the Magic aren't at least a little bit worried. Here's some key notes about both teams and my prediction on how these 2009 Finals will turn out.

1. No one person will be able to cover Kobe Bryant. Stan Van Master of Thinning Hair Gundy better be knee deep in a defensive playbook right about now, and Orlando's pick-and-roll defense better tighten up....quick. Kobe exposed Orlando's inability to communicate coming off screens, and the Magic paid for their insolence. If things don't change quick, Shaq will be saying "I told you so."

2. Jameer Nelson. Granted, he made some plays. But before this series started, everybody talked about how the Magic were gelling so nicely and about their size and abundance of athletic small forwards who can shoot the rock. Aside from some nice passes, Nelson missed a bunch of open shots and was largely ineffective on defense. The Magic rolled in the playoffs without him, that's all I'm saying.

3. Pau Gasol. My Grandma rebounds with more tenacity than the lanky Spaniard. Gasol is as soft on the glass as John Daly is in the midsection.

4. Dwight Howard. Look how big you are. There is nobody on the Lakers who can defend you. Can you please go to the video store and rent a Darryl Dawkins highlight reel? What's with these sissy finger rolls and floaters? I wanna see somebody get dunked on by Patrick Chewing!

After watching them handle the Cavs, I went out on a limb and said Magic in 5. Now I take it back. Lakers in 6. I can do that!

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written on June 05, 2009 Humor

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