Super Bowl XLVIII ticket prices are reaching astronomical levels. It's hard to see why when the temperature in New Jersey's going to be comparable with a meat locker.
Nonetheless, with the NFL's top-ranked offense and defense set to face off, people want tickets to America's biggest athletic spectacle quite badly.
The fan in all of us will relate to the plight of missing out on an important game your team's playing in; but what some among us would do to watch this Super Bowl is beyond the pale.
Here are the 10 most desperate individuals seeking tickets for Super Bowl XLVIII. If you can assist any of these people before they hurt themselves, others or domesticated animals—please find a way.
**CAUTION: Certain language in the following tweets may be offensive to some readers.
If Zak really got Super Bowl tickets from the @Seahawks I'm gonna have to kill him and steal his tickets.— amrit (@armpitttt) January 21, 2014
If anybody needs a bounty hunter just know that I would literally kill for Super Bowl tickets— Brian Galvin (@BG_lll) January 21, 2014
"I'd probably suck a dick for a pair of super bowl tickets."— Anthony (@aboinGusman) January 23, 2014
Thinking about starting a kick starter for Super Bowl tickets.. Every donation gets a signed copy of myself. Any takers?— Kathleen Marino (@SomeoneAwesome) January 19, 2014
'Cuse me while I whore myself for some Superbowl tickets. New York here I come— Haley (@hayywee13) January 19, 2014
Imma rob @shalinej for her tickets to the game Sunday & her tickets to the Super Bowl.— CT (@C_Topps) January 15, 2014
@joxyrekebuq Hahahahhahaahha give me Super Bowl tickets or I'll kill your pets— hope ➹ (@HopeOviatt) January 22, 2014
Seriously, who do I have to kill to get Super Bowl tickets— Rob (@_TheGovernor_) January 20, 2014
These people are hopefully tweeting for jokes; but in all seriousness, social media could be used by nefarious characters to scout potential ticket holders. With the average ticket price just over $4,000 and rising, it certainly wouldn't be alarming if people were sketching some dastardly blueprints.
Would you ever spend over $2,000 for one sports ticket?
If you've learned anything from these people let it be: Don't tweet out that you've got Super Bowl tickets—you could be setting yourself up for a meeting you'd rather not have.
As most of the nation will be huddled eight feet away from flat screen televisions, with troughs of Doritos, vats of chili and rivers of Pepsi, all we ask from the select few going to the game is to have your wits about you.
One can only be conned if they're greedy or lazy—don't be either.