Athletes Who Ate Insane Amounts of Food
No, Larry! This is my pot pie!
I know you burn calories like a gastro wildfire, but get your own food. You athletes will eat a man out of house and home if given the chance.
Indeed, it's only fitting that professional athletes eat a lot of food. Paying the sweat tax is part of their livelihoods, and all those calories burned on the playing field must be replaced.
Some athletes take their refueling process to the next level, however, eschewing dry chicken cutlets, tofu burgers and paleo garbage for mountains of fare smothered in sugar, carbs and delicious alcohol.
The following athletes ate and drank to their hearts' content and kept going—and they'll tell you where you can shove your Lean Cuisines.
Tim Lincecum: The Full Lincecum
The Feast: three double-double burgers, two orders of fries and a strawberry-chocolate milkshake.
The aforementioned feast? That's known as the "The Full Lincecum," and it's Tim Lincecum's standard order at In-N-Out Burger—the legendary California fast-food chain.
The Full Lincecum clocks in at 3,100 calories, which is more than a full day's caloric intake for your average adult male. That's just a single meal for the San Francisco Giants pitcher, who has the metabolism of a hummingbird.
"Its always been harder for me to put on weight than keep it off," Lincecum told ESPN. "[My weight] can drop easily for me because my metabolism is through the roof. I sweat a [bleep]load."
Wade Boggs: Drinks All the Beers
The Feast: 40-plus Miller Lites.
The exact number may never be confirmed, but suffice it to say that Wade Boggs routinely drank the liquid equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner while traveling long distances with the team.
As the legend goes, the former Major League third baseman would down 50-60 beers over the course of a cross-country trip to Seattle. According to former teammate Jeff Nelson, Boggs drank beers while the team packed for the trip, continued crushing them on the bus to the airport and usually finished a half-rack by the time they stopped for their layover in North Dakota.
Boggs won't disclose the total figure, but considering the length of the trip (approximately 16 hours from stadium to stadium), it's not crazy to believe Boggs demolished around 40 beers in total.
Michael Phelps: A Freakish Training Diet
Breakfast: three loaded fried-egg sandwiches, two cups of coffee, one five-egg omelet, one bowl of grits, three slices of French toast, three chocolate chip pancakes.
Lunch: one pound of enriched pasta, two ham and cheese sandoozles, 1,000 calories in energy drinks.
Dinner: one pound of pasta, a pizza, more energy drinks.
This is the 12,000-calorie diet Michael Phelps maintained while in training, and it will literally end your life if you aren't a superhuman athlete or an eating professional.
Team Columbia: 9,000-Calorie Tour De France Diet
Breakfast: banana, muesli (uncooked oats, fruits and milk), pasta, croissant with chocolate, coffee, soy milk, mixed fruits, orange juice.
Pre-Race: pasta, water.
Race: four PowerBars, fruit cake, PowerBar carbo drink, energy gels, Coca-Cola, two turkey Adam Sandlers.
Post-Race: recovery drink, turkey sandwich, Coca-Cola, fruit cake, PowerBar.
Dinner: mixed veggies, pasta, chicken breast, sauce, plain yogurt, chocolate, gum/sweets.
Behold! The 9,000-calorie Tour De France diet of Team Columbia—a regimen that takes carbo loading to an entirely new plane of insanity.
In the morning, they eat carbs with a splash of coffee, which is followed up by carbs on a bike and carbs at the dinner table. And plain yogurt. We can't forget about that tasty treat cyclists get to enjoy after a day spent riding 125 miles through the French Alps.
Lamar Odom: Candy by the Bag
The Feast: "plates" of Starburst jellybeans.
Much about Lamar Odom's candy habit might be explained by other Odom habits that have come to light, but the man loves him some sweets.
Odom has credited double-double performances to his decision to eat candy for breakfast, and he claims he's twice wolfed down a plateful of jellybeans before hitting the hardwood.
David Boon: Transcontinental Drinking Champ
The Feast: 52 beers
If your buddies ever text you about how hammed they're getting on their flight to Vegas, tell them you'll be impressed when they out-crush "Boonie."
David "Boonie" Boon is a former Aussie cricket player, and he reportedly murdered 52 cans of rich, delicious hops over the course of a transcontinental flight from Australia to England in 1989.
Boon denies he finished as many beers as his teammates claim, but considering the flight takes over 21 hours by current commercial standards, it's not an impossible feat.
Usain Bolt: Chicken Nuggets
The Feast: 1,000 chicken nuggets in 10 days.
Usain Bolt is a picky eater.
He couldn't find anything to satisfy his palate when he arrived at the 2008 Beijing Olympics and decided to head to the only place he knew he would find something that would agree with him: McDonald's.
Bolt was soon chowing down 20-piece chicken nugget boxes like handfuls of popcorn. He estimated in his memoirs that he crushed about five boxes a day for 10 days, eating the nuggets for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Bolt also won three gold medals in Beijing, which was insane at the time but takes on entirely new significance when you realize he did it on a child's dream diet.
Caron Butler: Mountain Dew Addict
The Feast: at least six 12-ounce Mountain Dews a day.
Caron Butler was a Mountain Dew fiend.
The Milwaukee Bucks guard used to drink the sugary nitroglycerin during breakfast, lunch and dinner, downing bottle after bottle to keep his energy up. He even kept a cold one next to his night stand.
Butler has since gotten off the Dew but claims the withdrawal period was the "roughest two weeks" of his life, per J.E. Skeets of Yahoo! Sports. He lost 11 pounds after giving up the sugary drink.
LenDale White: The Patron Diet
The Feast: approximately 7.5 shots of Patron a day.
LenDale White used to love him some top-shelf tequila.
The Tennessee Titans running back admitted that he guzzled Patron to the point where it affected his weight substantially.
White eventually decided to make a change, cutting Patron out of his diet and going dry for six months. The result was a 30-pound weight loss—roughly 12 percent of his body weight.
Matt Kalil: Eating to Pay the Mortgage
The Feast: 12-ounce steak, mashed potatoes, mounds of fruits and vegetables, two sushi rolls, four sausages, one-and-a-half peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, garlic bread, orange juice and a 1,200 calorie weight-gainer shake before bedtime.
Having a fast metabolism makes gaining weight a constant struggle, and the task is only that much harder when you're offensive lineman Matt Kalil.
The Vikings offensive lineman maintains a 7,000-calorie daily diet in order keep up his 300-pound playing weight. He ends every day with a large weight-gainer shake that would carry most of us through breakfast and lunch.
Larry Bird: Wedding Cake Binger
The Feast: Ten gallons of ice cream and seven wedding cakes.
Why wedding cakes? Because he knew they were going to be [bleeping] delicious.
In his forthcoming book about the 1990-91 Boston Celtics, author Jack McCallum includes an entire passage concerning a food binge Larry Bird went on while recovering from an Achilles injury.
Bird admitted to eating out of boredom, and said he ate ten gallons of ice cream and seven wedding cakes over he span of two weeks. When asked why he bought wedding cakes, Bird said "'Cause you knew they were gonna be good."
"I mean, who would [bleep] up a wedding cake?" Bird said.
What's the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?