College Football: The Audacity of Hope

With only four months to go, can college football fans make it all the way to kickoff? Myles Moore says, Yes We Can!

by Myles Moore (Scribe)

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Sports

April 23, 2008

College Football, Satire

Things are hard now, my fellow Americans. There is no hope on the horizon. The BCS season has left us jaded and angry. Les Miles and his gorillas with chainsaws have pillaged the College Football world and left you with no passion. Ohio State has left you wanting again.

You've been fooled too long by the Hawaii's of this world. All cupcakes and no substance. You've been deceived by SEC speed. You're bitter that you've been left again with a top heavy Big East. You've failed to make a bowl despite the preseason ranking one time to many.

You've been lied to by the BCS and promised a true champion that you can believe in. Instead year in and year out you get controversy at every turn.

Small town colleges like West Virginia are clinging to their couch-burnings, internet fodder, coach suings to ease the pain.

Rules committees have gone on too long taking game time away from you, the deserving fans.

College football fans suffer while the rest of the world sits on their chaise lounges enjoying NBA Playoffs and baseball.

We do not have to live like this.

Where are the people that will stand for the rights of you, college football fans? Where is your champion? Where is your defender?

Let me tell you something, my friends.

Change is coming. Your champion is on his way.

Hope is on the horizon

In less than 130 days I promise you a change. A change we can all believe in.

I promise you that your Saturdays will not be empty voids any more.

I promise you that the fire in your heart that burns will be rekindled. The likes of Pete Carroll will be stoked to be on your screens again soon.

I promise that forty year old men will soon be on the sideline again defending players.

I promise you that Tim Tebow will rock the swamps of Florida and it will be heard throughout all the SEC.

I promise that Joe Paterno will continue to roam to and fro' in Happy Valley.

I promise that you will no longer have to assume what Lou Holtz will say, but that you will in fact hear him in his locker room talks.

I promise that Erin Andrews will be there to bring insight from half-time talks and adjustments.

I promise you that come August 30th we will have sweet victory.

I promise you that these games are coming on that day:
Michigan State at California
Illinois vs. Missouri (St. Louis)
USC at Virginia
Oklahoma State vs. Washington State
Tennessee at UCLA
Utah at Michigan
Kentucky at Louisville
Fresno State at Rutgers
Alabama vs. Clemson
Hawaii at Florida

When we win those games we'll move on to the next week and the next and then on to the next.

Come November the people will have spoken and new hope and change will have arisen.

I can promise that we will work together with ABC, CBS, ESPN, Fox Sports, B10N, VS. and CSTV to bring you the best Saturdays in America that we can bring.

My fellow Americans...

Hope is on the way.

We believe.
We believe.
We believe.

Sports

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About the Author Myles Moore (scribe)

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