My Utterly Silly Poetic Tribute to Roger Federer and Maria Sharapova

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My Utterly Silly Poetic Tribute to Roger Federer and Maria Sharapova
(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

If you're expecting an ounce of quality in my poetic tribute, I urge you to read some other article.

On the other hand, if you expect utter silliness and a random chuckle along the way—welcome.

I'm high on caffeine, sitting in my congested room with literally no oxygen supply, and my new neighbor spying on me with those binoculars is seriously starting to get creepy now.

I was talking with a fellow b/r writer—"Gil" who is a proud recruit of the "Federer army." Oh yes, they have armies now, and I'm pretty sure there are cults with secret practices to please the ancient Annunaki Gods to make sure Federer wins matches.

Anyway...

One thing led to another, and I decided to write a poem for Federer. I was amused at my own impromptu effort and decided to make it into an article.

How could I leave my beloved Maria Sharapova out of such a thing?

So, I had to write a poem on her too.

Take it as an excuse for pathetic poetry or shameless boasting if the poem has turned out well, but the truth is the truth.

I wrote these following few lines just now in a couple of minutes.

Here goes nothing.

 

Roger Federer

"There is some guy, some Prince Charming I hear
Who has captured the hearts of many a girls these days
He comes from the land, known for chocolates
No wonder sweet are his flirting ways

The Swiss are also known for knives, mind you
And sure enough, Roger has an aggressive side
He vanquished a dozen and then conquered the rest
That slender frame surged ahead like a tide!

Who is Nadal? Who is Murray?
No one can challenge this mighty knight
Roger is the best of the the best
forever, learn this fact tonight

Oh, thou art so wonderful Federer
Swifter than winds, brighter than sun!
But I'm a Djokovic fan buddy...
So in my dream, Novak always beats you 6-1, 6-1, 6-1."

Don't worry. I will provide my real e-mail address to those who are itching to send me hate-mails.

Moving on...

 

Maria Sharapova

I can't take my eyes off you, Maria
You're the prettiest face I have ever seen
I confess I fell for you head over heals
That first moment I saw you on my TV screen

I have your posters all over my wall
But it's your smile embossed on my heart that matters the most
I wish I could know what it feels to be with you...
But more than that, I wish I knew what rhymed with "most"

You may never know, there exists a man somewhere
Who is so madly in love with you
He mentions you in every article he writes...
Even though it has nothing directly to do with you

If I wasn't so afraid of "Daddy Dangerous"
I'd definitely call you every once in a while
I would not be able to sing a romantic song perhaps
But maybe my silly lil' poem would make you smile!

I was gonna write about Nadal and Ana too, but I'm finished with my coffee, and I think this much stupidity is enough for one article.

I will get a POTD for this one, surely—The Pathetic article of the Day.

Grazie.

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