Reality shows: They're popular, cheap to produce and everyone seems to have one.
Jerry Zgoda of the Minneapolis Star Tribune had an idea for a reality show starring Minnesota Timberwolves center Nikola Pekovic.
Love on Pek: "He's the type of guy if you spend enough time around him, he should have his own reality show. I would watch it."— Jerry Zgoda (@JerryZgoda) January 15, 2014
It's a good idea...but why stop there? Let's pitch nine reality shows starring 10 NBA players.
Credit for this one is due to the good men and women of the Minnesota Timberwolves organization. They already created the promo, which is perhaps the greatest in-game video of all time.
Now all that is needed is to get a TV production crew involved and turn this baby into reality. Pekovic is from the former Yugoslav Republic of Montenegro, so he can ride a bicycle from his home to six or seven different countries.
But Pekovic cannot be contained by one or two continents. He must walk the Earth, like Caine in "Kung Fu." Along the way, Pekovic can taste different foods, view different architecture and wrestle different bears.
It's must-see TV!
Chris Smith, recently released by the New York Knicks, probably doesn't have a future in the NBA. His older brother, the more talented J.R., might not be long for the league himself if he keeps up the actions that have gotten him benched, according to Peter Botte of the New York Post.
Since they might not have a future in the league, the Smiths might as well team up with the Syfy network and hunt ghosts in various night clubs and strip joints throughout America.
The Smiths are uniquely suited for hunting ghosts. J.R. hasn't been awake in the daytime in more than eight years, and his eyes have evolved to see in the dark.
Let's find us some ghosts!
Kobe Bryant is perhaps the most viciously competitive player in the league, the kind of dude who would rip out an opponent's throat to win.
But there are people even more competitive than Bryant: and that's beauty pageant parents. Have you ever seen shows like Toddlers and Tiaras?
Here's hoping Bryant will be in element coaching up the daughters of psychotic pageant moms: cursing them out, slashing tires and getting into beefs through the news media.
But in the end, Bryant will build winners. He will mold those little girls into Mini-Mambas. The beauty pageant world will never be the same again.
Listen up, liberals: The NBA's most vociferous conservative voice is getting his own show on the FOX News Network.
Spencer Hawes can co-host with the likes of Steve Doocy and Michelle Malkin, talking about the news of the day, discussing the works of Ayn Rand, and deciding which landmarks in this great nation should be named after Ronald Reagan (spoiler alert: all of them).
And who is ready for band leader Ted Nugent? The Motor City Madman can be the Questlove to Hawes' Jimmy Fallon.
Get it done, Rupert Murdoch.
Forget Versace and Valentino, there is only one name to know in fashion, and that name is Russell Westbrook.
Just do a Google Images search of "Russell Westbrook outfits" and you can see why. The Oklahoma City Thunder point guard is pushing the boundaries of fashion beyond the final frontier and straight into outer space.
So why not pair him up with fashion show magnate Tim Gunn and let the two of them just do fashion shows?
Just for kicks, we can replace some of the fashion designers with random blind people sewing together outfits out of scraps of cloth and see whose designs Westbrook prefers.
The New York Knicks are once again the laughing stock of the NBA, and their massive fan base is taking it hard. New York doesn't even have a 2014 draft pick as compensation for all their losing, so there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
But Knicks fans still have Pablo Prigioni. The 36-year-old sophomore from Argentina is a ray of sunshine amid the gaping black void that is the 2013-14 Knicks. He gives the best interviews, like this Super Bowl preview from 2013 (Pablo is at the :42 mark).
MSG network needs to shoot a series of Pablo reading depressing fan letters and then tracking down those poor Knicks fans to give him or her a great big hug. It will be the feel-good show of the year.
When it's "The Apprentice" or "Undercover Boss," the employer-employee relationship has been explored in several reality shows.
But TV producers have yet to tap the most entertaining boss of all for inspiration: San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich. He has been entertaining NBA fans for years, but only in tiny interview segments.
Pop needs 60 minutes to spread his wisdom to the world. He can coach people from all walks of life, drive them to tears with his surly, sarcastic barbs. But, ultimately, he will build them into the very best at whatever it is that they do.
Fans of both the NBA and the FX show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" can't help but notice the similarities in appearance between Charlotte Bobcats big Josh McRoberts and actor Charlie Day.
Many people consider Day to be one of the funniest men on the planet. So why not film him and his taller, more athletic doppelganger, McRoberts, touring the country? They can drink beers, pull pranks and dress up like the Green Man.
Or, for the musically inclined, the two of them can sing the theme to Dayman.
What does Knicks forward Metta World Peace do in his free time? Does he draw Chinese calligraphy using only his feet? Possibly. Does he get recruited by aliens to fly rocket ships, like in The Last Starfighter? Almost certainly.
Metta World Peace should have a camera focused on him at all times. What kind of show will it be? Nobody really knows, but it doesn't really matter.
One thing is certain: The Metta World Peace Show will have a potential tie-in with Sesame Street, thanks to Metta's undying love of Cookie Monster.