It's so hot at the Australian Open that you can gently warm an egg.
Granted, that doesn't sound like a whole heck of a lot, but trust us. It's very warm out there, and they have fans showing up to prove it with their culinary skills.
That's just one of a few fanciful tales we have decided to pluck from the ever bountiful sports tree.
Of course, if you happen to have any suggestions of sports stories that were so bad they were good, please plunk them on down below.
Otherwise, enjoy some truly awful things that made us giggle and a couple that made us cringe.
The Miami Heat's inability to stop the Wizards wasn't going to deter general manager Andy Elisburg from getting some shuteye.
Unfortunately for Heat fans, the team dropped its Wednesday game against the Wizards, 114-97. The clash featured a 34-point deficit for the Heat at one point, so it makes sense that some fans would turn away.
When you are the GM of the team, you simply close your eyes and dream of better games.
You remember Luke Walton and Matt Leinart? They play on a recreational basketball team with one another.
Yup, you can pretty much find anything on the Internet nowadays.
Among the highlights you will see Leinart, a former Heisman winner, get blocked going up for a shot and Walton continue his favorite hobby, dishing off dimes to his teammates.
Unfortunately, money doesn't buy you wins, because the star-studded team lost.
As most of you know, the Panthers suffered a 23-10 loss to the San Francisco 49ers last weekend, which meant players like Steve Smith had to give one last interview with the press.
One reporter had a brilliant question: "Will you be cheering for the Seahawks against the Niners given how chippy this was today, or do you not really care at this point?"
We could chide the reporter for an amazingly inane question, but we think Smith has this one.
Thanks to a tweet from Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, we now know how hot it is at the Australian Open. We have officially entered the "People are trying to fry eggs" portion of the thermostat.
Thanks to some digging and video evidence, we have established that the annoying heat can't even properly cook eggs, proving it is extremely useless.
Great, now we are hungry too.
Some of you who played Little League might have some interesting stories about overzealous coaches. Hey, maybe some of them even yelled at you.
At least you were never sued by your coach.
Sacramento's KCRA 3 reports Alan Beck, a Little League coach in California, decided to sue his 14-year-old player for damages and lost wages when a helmet the boy threw in celebration hit Beck on his Achilles.
Dave Briggs updated the story by tweeting that Beck is willing to drop the lawsuit if he gets an apology. How mighty big of him.
Video contains an unintentional but NSFW image.
Consider this a reminder that you should be ever careful before you just rip an image from the Internet and use it on live television.
Bleacher Report's Dan Carson brings us the hilarious tale of Clark, the new Cubs mascot that caused quite the stir around social media.
Deadspin (NSFW link) asked its readers to photoshop the new character and also provided a head start of sorts by showing an, um, anatomically correct bear.
Comcast SportsNet decided that was the photo it was going to use for a live broadcast, and we are glad it did.