10 Reasons the Cubs Won't Win Squat This Year

Welcome to the 2009 season. It holds all the hope of the 2004 season, but with five more years worth of salt rubbed in.

Yes, last year absolutely presented the problem of being too right-handed (pitchers can work one side of the plate, no chance at hitting changeups, etc.) but the way Jim Hendry tore apart and re-shaped this team has turned it into something unique, and different, and ... crappy.

Free swinging

Look Big Z: I know you had one season where you hit a bunch of home runs, but YOU'RE NOT A SLUGGER! And Lou, stop helping him think he is by pinch-hitting him all the time.

It's been countless times that we've seen Big Z come up to the plate - once with a guy on THIRD - and take three straight home run swings (not even home run swings, but "I want to hit this into the lake. Lake SUPERIOR!"-swings) on pitches that were nowhere close to the zone. Opposing pitchers know that they don't have to give good pitches to guys like Alfonso Soriano.

We all rave about Japan and how they always win the WBC because even the sluggers can bunt. But come here to America and they'll tell you we can't ask the stars to do that. Go ahead Derrick Lee... try it.

Lou

I liked Lou Piniella at first, I even admired his candor with reporters and his blunt nature.

But the more time I spend with him, the more I realize that he doesn't always do what he says. Here are his big flaws:

1) Lou is starstruck by his everyday players. How many times have we heard him say that he'll give people rest? And yet Lee plays through the suckiness, and Soriano has been playing with a bum knee that will never heal. From what I read, he writes the lineup without them, and caves as soon as they walk into his office. STAND UP TO THEM LOU!!

2) Lou talks a lot about what he is going to do, but then has senior moments in game situations. How many times in the off season did we hear him say he was so happy to get the speed of Joey Gathright? Did you ever see Joey Gathright play?? And now he is gone. Goodbye Joey Gathright! Only your time here was quick!

Contracts

The Cubs are, sadly, sort of handcuffed here. Yes they were too right-handed, but THEY signed all these guys. It shows a lack of foresight.

It also shows that they, too, are starstruck, and sign guys when they have no idea what they might become: Soriano is useless without his speed, Derrick Lee's best asset - without the slugging - is being tall, and as it turns out, Ibanez would have been a WAY better signing than Bradley, who might beat Nomar for most injuries as a Cub in the shortest time span.

But you've got to keep these guys now because of all the no-trade clauses you hand out. If they're hurt or struggling, sit them, and don't let this spiral out of control.

They don't reward

Just had a great year with the Cubs, working for less money than you're worth? Odds are you're about to be insulted by being basically dumped for some single-A players, Mark DeRosa, Kerry Wood, Henry Blanco, Jason Marquis, Todd Walker, Greg Maddux, .... (What reason is there for a guy to work hard?)

Just had a career year that you'll never match again? Gear up for your big paychecks Derrick Lee and Ryan Dempster!!

Dumb Cub fans

White Sox fans may be right. There aren't enough of us who are outraged by how the Cubs operate. I'm actually EMBARRASSED when Mark DeRosa says "they made their decision." No Mark, HENDRY made that decision. I, personally, am pissed. Lets give him hell.

Bullpen

Lets get into some more baseball stuff here: why is it that this team thought they could start the season with no bullpen??

We all understand why Howry had to go, but Wood, Wuertz and Eyre too? I'll never understand Lou's disdain for Eyre, who had scoreless innings streak of 20-something going last year when he was dumped. Wuertz was serviceable for a few batters and was never wild, which we can now very much appreciate.

I mean, they really wanted to trust Angel Guzman and a Rule-5 guy? That's like trusting Milton Bradley to leg it out to first without pulling something. And why trade Marquis for a guy you even ADMIT later you "don't trust."

On the positive side, Randy Wells success should allow them to move Marshall to the bullpen, replacing Neal Cotts, who was only faking being left-handed to keep his job. But geez guys... GEEZ! This is really just an awful awful AWFUL series of flubs!!!

INJURIES!!

Ok nobody could have foreseen this...

BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITIES!!!

(Like trying to play well in the playoffs when you're a 97-win team... nothing is a given guys. The Brewers and Cardinals are good and getting better.)

The bench

Dude... with all the injuries I don't even know who their bench IS.

Bobby Scales? Sure his story could be sponsored by Disney, but please. After him you've got a handful of guys who can hit but not play the field and Reed Johnson who should be playing every day.

Fortunately for the Cubs though, they've found another just as apt backup catcher in Koyie Hill. Choosing him over a shriveled Paul Bako was one of the few right moves they've made this year (and if you don't know about his comeback from almost severing his hand, his story could be a Disney movie as well).

FiRe!

Look, you hired Milton Bradley to get some "fire," but all he brings is a whiny headache.

You sent packing two of your emotional team leaders in Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa.

Lou is ancient and looks tired and cranky in TV interviews. He won't kick up dust or go face-to-face with umps anymore.

Last year I WANTED these guys to win. But now they don't look like they care and why should I care??? (Theriot and Reed Johnson are exempt from the last statement... and Aramis, who always looks like he doesn't care, even when he is hitting.)

PreSSurE!

Yep it's there. And with all that's going wrong it will continue to mount. And with every "believe" sign and "100 years" celebration the frustration will grow. I mean, players are only human...

But then again the White Sox hadn't won in 80+ years (though their fans don't like to be reminded of it) and they won. The Blackhawks haven't won the cup since the 1960's and they took it one playoff series at a time this year.

So what is it about the players the Cubs draft that makes them crack? If we can't solve this, then we can't solve anything, friends.