Welcome to the latest edition of the Onion Bag, your one-stop source for weird and wonderful football news.
We kick off today with a tribute to the legendary Eusebio da Silva Ferreira, who passed away over the weekend. Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has given us a glimpse into their friendship.
Next, it's over to Ukraine, where John Terry is being held responsible for the current political unrest.
And finally, we check in with Sepp Blatter, whose latest hair-brained idea is intended to combat diving.
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