To All the Saints at B/R: How Do I Get To Be as Good as You? (Humor)

I must have read two dozen sanctimonious, self-righteous articles on B/R from people shocked at the 24-year-old LeBron walking off the court and refusing to shake hands.

People have described the morals they learned from their parents, the careful lessons they try to teach their kids, etc.

And I just want to say to you all: thank you for gracing us with your presence.

It's so great to read articles by people who never speed on the highway, who always use their turn signals, who never look for loopholes on their taxes that they know are BS but that they can get away with, who give at the office AND in the neighborhood, and who always say please and thank you.

Folks in church (and you all go to church every Sunday, I know) make way for you as you move to the front row pew.

The minister confers with you before delivering his sermon.

Mother Theresa took notes while watching you.

The car manufacturers remove the horns from your cars, because they know you never honk impatiently at a clueless driver.

I know that I cannot be as good as you all, but I hope that by sticking around B/R and reading your articles I can be just a little better.

Thank you.

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