WWE closed out 2013 with some awful, ridiculous moments. Vince McMahon probably just wanted to get that all out of his system by year's end, so we won't have to sit through any of it in 2014.
Well, that's just wishful thinking. This year, WWE is sure to be filled with regret, sadness and criminally stupid moments. Actually, those are the feelings I get on every edition of Raw. But still, we love wrestling, so we must march forward!
WrestleMania season is right around the corner, so hopefully the nonsense will be kept to a minimum. We can always hope. But for now, let's take a look back at the moments from the week that you wish you could forget, and make a resolution to be slightly less annoyed by WWE storylines this year.
Nah, not gonna happen.
Oh well, time to dive in and relive WWE's worst of the week!
Wait, haven't we done this before? Oh yeah! On 18 prior occasions.
The Shield and The Usos always seem to have pretty good matches. The problem is, we've seen it before. In fact, it seems like we've seen it way, way too many times before.
Why is that? Well, in under seven months, The Shield have taken on The Usos in a variety of tag matches on 19 different occasions on TV. 19? How is that even possible?
Of course, the tag division is better than it was a couple of years ago, but there's just way too much TV time to support a division that doesn't even have 10 teams. There's only so many possible combinations out there, and WWE seems to have exhausted them all months ago.
Sure, I guess we've never seen a Los Matadores vs. The Shield match, but no one really wants to either. Though watching Roman Reigns give El Torito a spear could be one of the best wrestling moments of all time...
These same matches constantly booked make it even more unbelievable that WWE hasn't gone out of its way to sign The Americans Wolves, promote The Ascension and scour the indie scene for more talent. If the company does get that huge new TV deal they've been after, then they should immediately go on a shopping spree and buy a few more tag teams.
On Main Event, Brodus Clay debuted his new music and new look on Miz TV. It was long overdue, and he cut a decent promo that could have helped him settle nicely into a mid-card heel role with potential upward mobility.
Well, that didn't last long.
By the end of Main Event, Tensai ran (putting it generously) down to the ring, slugged it out with his old pal and then knocked him out of the ring. What? Why?
This is a problem, because Tensai can't get over on his own, heck he can't really get over with anyone else either. Yes, he may have been a beast in Japan, but WWE is never going to push him that way. He was the "Hip Hop Hippo" years ago in WWE, and things have come full circle now that he's once again portraying the coveted role of a dancing fat man.
Tensai had his shot, and it just never worked out for him. He shouldn't be booked to take out someone nearly 10 years younger than him who really needs to get his new act over.
Wade Barrett interrupted Booker T's New Year Party?
He's the top babyface in the company as far as I'm concerned! Who knows how long that thing would have gone on?
OK, so Bad News Barrett is still awful. Every week he does this act is only going to further damage any potential he has left in making it back to the main events. Now, what struck me as odd this week is that Barrett's Bad News was pretty much spot-on.
He said that the wrestlers are going to continue to stab each other in the back for more money to buy things they don't need. Huh. Well, he's got a point there. He also said that the environment will continue to get worse, and will eventually take our homes away. Hmmm, well, that's another fair point.
He closed with saying everyone is going to keep following the latest trends instead of doing anything about poverty. Now I feel guilty. Barrett, you've won me over!
Wait a second...you're a heel! Shouldn't heels be saying things that aren't true? Shouldn't we be relating more to the good guy than the Bad News guy? Instead of doing anything productive, the babyface mid-carders were going to waste our time with Spinaroonies instead of planting trees and working in a soup kitchen.
I don't know what to think. Oh wait, I do. I think this is awful. I'd rather have Bastion Booger sit on my face than have to watch another one of these segments.
Now, WWE doesn't have to be realistic, but it doesn't have to be idiotic either. Just bear with me, and think about UFC for a moment.
Imagine if Georges St-Pierre was fighting Johny Hendricks, and suddenly Nick Diaz (who was on guest commentary) put on a cowboy hat, played his entrance song and danced around the outside of the octagon like an idiot.
This then distracts Hendricks which led to GSP winning. Then, Diaz and GSP get together in the middle of the octagon and danced together. Would anyone in the audience cheer for this? Or would they be booed out of the building and hated for life?
This is basically what Xavier Woods pulled on SmackDown while R-Truth took on Fandango.
The Funkadactyls, Woods and R-Truth pairing is flat-out awful. People that constantly joke around, smile and dance while they should be concerned about fighting are heels to me. Initially, it was nice to see Woods back on TV (after seeing him show potential in TNA a few years ago), but his act has already grown tired. Next week I hope Fandango dances on his face.
Did Goldberg ever get tired of getting beat up and join the NWO? Did The Undertaker tell The Million Dollar Corporation that he couldn't take it anymore? Did Steve Austin ever just give up and join The Ministry?
Well, Daniel Bryan called it quits and joined The Wyatt Family.
Nope. This isn't going to work.
I don't want to hear any "just give it a chance! It's too early to tell!" Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatt Family will not be good for his career. WWE storytelling has proven so inconsistent and illogical over the years that it's foolish to think this will lead anywhere positive.
First off, why did Bryan suddenly give up and join them? There were no signs that this was ever going to happen. Sure, it makes for a swerve, but not a very logical one. Secondly, him joining The Wyatts has already been badly damaged because of how poorly the feud has been booked so far.
Bryan was kidnapped by the group (later explained the next week that he actually wasn't) and was fine one week later. Recently, the Wyatts pushed him 15 feet to the concrete ground on SmackDown. He should have been dead. He was back three days later on Raw without a scratch on him.
Watching Bryan agree to join the group actually made me a little sad. I mean, here's a guy that the fans absolutely got behind 100 percent. He was our star. He should have held onto the title after SummerSlam, and have been given a real shot as a true main-eventer. Right now, he should be tapping out a heel Big Show or putting HHH in his place.
Instead, he got beat down every week. We were told he's weird looking and short. Nobody cared about that except for people in management.
Some may think that Bryan is just faking joining The Wyatt Family so he can bring them down from the inside. Ok, but there's a big problem with that theory. The Wyatt Family isn't that dangerous. They lose most of their matches, and have shown they're completely incapable of successfully kidnapping or physically harming someone.
You know what, it's a new year. I'm going to try and be positive. I'll give this a two percent chance of working, and only a 98 percent chance this is going to suck.
Time to kick out.
Agree? Disagree? What was your worst moment of the week? Am I way off on Bryan? Sound off below, and thanks for reading!