On Monday, I write a column for Flushing University. This was the week's rant.
As my Mets Police alter-ego continues to develop, I'm getting more and more people complaining to me about the noise at Citi Field. There are two experiences in Flushing.
The nice one is when the Mets are on defense. The PA announcer tells you who is batting, and the idiots that run the soundboard go take a leak and grab some more chicken fingers.
But, boy are they back when the Mets come up. The batters' choice music is particularly annoying, this year. Luis Castillo seems to have gone out of his way to pick the most annoying music possible, and Sheffield isn't far behind.
Before I get called a racist or a rock-ist, let me tell you my favorite intro music this year is K-Rod's. I don't know what it's called or what type of music it is, but it's got a nice beat, it's uptempo, it's catchy, and it's in Spanish.
Why does there need to be music, anyway? You often hear athletes say that they don't hear the crowd. Does David Wright hit better because we play his song? He's hitting .571 at Dodger Stadium; let's find out what song they used.
Whoever is in charge of the noise, let me assure you of something: "Now batting: David Wright" will get us to cheer—so will a home run, a big hit, a nice play, or a run scoring.
We're not going to cheer because some idiot is being paid to play the video of the fake audio meter. We'll chant "Let's go, Mets!" when we want to, or when cowbell man wants us to, not because someone with no clue for timing feels like we should start chanting now that there are two strikes.
One fan emailed me on Friday night to say that he was trying to enjoy the center field area with his young kids at around 6:30, but it was just too loud. I wonder how he felt when the PA announcer ran 10 minutes of 10-second commercials. I guess some genius in the sales department gave every client added value.
The added value is worse than WCBS running off all the billboards at the start of the Yankees game. It's 6:30 and you're trying to enjoy the park and it's non-stop "Hey, need a ride home? Call blah blah car service. Want to buy a sweatshirt? Go to so-and-so dot com. Want to buy a pie and throw it at someone in the sound booth? Go to shutthehellup.com!" (Neither the Mets Police nor Flushing University condone throwing a pie at Citi Field employees).
Oh yeah, I don't know if it's being the 500 feet further northwest or what, but the planes are more annoying at Citi than they ever were at Shea.
Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to read more? I was just trying to get a cheer started. The Mets just got a two-out walk, and are down 17 runs.
Let's make some noise!