The late Jeremy Beadle has inspired me to do some great pranks in my time. Who can forget the time I allowed my friend to shit his pants because I wouldn't tell him where the toilet was? Or the infamous Local B who spammed message boards across the country? They were really cool, inventive moments of inspired creativity. You should have seen my friends face as he shat himself, priceless.

When I started this blog, I decided to include a comment box just for the odd bit of banter and analysis. I was foolish and naive to think that there wouldn't be someone who would exploit the box and every single god damn thing it stands for. The man who did it? A guy who likes his friends to call him 'G-Child'. His alter ego? The uninspiring Adams 06. I have the misfortune of being a friend of this man.

You might have noticed that every now and then, Adams06 would write something like 'we're going to Wembley' or 'I like Hleb'. According to G-Child, these are absolutely hilarious comments. Apparently, people find them 'really funny' and he assures me that 'there are a lot of people who find Adams06 absolutely brilliant'. Well G-Child, I'm afraid the below emails are just a tiny proportion of the thousands of hate messages that I have been sent about you:

'Who is this Adams06 wanker? His comments aren't remotely funny and he is taking up all the C-Box'

'Adams 06 should suck my balls, he's a parasite on this wonderful page'

'Tell Adams 06 to get out of my face or I'll get my mate Lenny to knock his head off'

A lot of people don't like Adams06. But the main reason for this is that he isn't a very funny creation, and people are therefore offended by his presence. G-Child, in the future you must work harder to invent characters of substance and amusement. It sometimes takes time and thought to come up with a good prank.

For the future, if Adams06 writes a message, feel free to attack the G-Child. His work email address will be provided upon request.