NCAA Football Preseason Top 10

Think back to your high school days, with jocks, nerds, and punks. Everyone had a label or a group to belong to. In the same way, the top teams in 2009 can be described by their persona.

I give you my 2009 Preseason Top 10.

(Tim Tebow and the University of Florida met Obama and also got pointers on how to be President)

1. Florida Gators - The Class President

The Gators are the reigning champs with the most dynamic coach in college football. They have the entire defensive 2-deep roster still in Orange and Blue plus ’07 Heisman winner Tim Tebow returning at QB.

Anything less than an undefeated national championship this year is like getting stuffed in a middle school locker.

2. Oklahoma Sooners - The Bully

The Sooners just like making people feel stupid. I can still hear Bob Stoops saying “O’Doyle rules” after each TD. Before they lost in the title game last year, they scored 60+ points in 5 straight games with an average margin of victory of 35. That’s just rude.

There’s no reason they will slow down with All-Universe TE Jermaine Gresham and ‘08 Heisman winning QB Sam Bradford coming back.

3. Texas Longhorns - the Goody-Two Shoes

Seriously, is it just me or is Texas squeaky clean? Mack Brown says the right things, Colt McCoy is as sweet at momma’s apple pie, and I don’t think they have any players in jail! This team is yet another top 5 squad that will enjoy a returning stud QB in McCoy.

Top receiver Jordan Shipley might be the only shady guy, and that’s just because in his sixth year, he’s like that creepster who just keeps hanging out after he graduated.

McCoy looks to join Tebow and Bradford by winning his Heisman in 09, unless he gets busted for sneaking some extra croutons at the salad bar.

4. Oregon Ducks - The Science Geek

For someone other than USC to win the Pac-10, it would take a miracle beyond the laws of science. However, I’m excited to see Chip Kelly design new experiments as head coach of the Ducks.

He is an offensive whiz and will get to create plays with his little 5’11” pinball of a QB, Jeremiah Masoli, behemoth (6”2” 240) RB LeGarret Blount, and speedy USC transfer Jamere Holland at WR.

With all that talent, look for his spread to explode like my 4th grade baking-soda volcano project.

5. USC Trojans - The Pretty Boy

The talent is never ending, Pete Carroll is the hippest coach out there, and USC constantly gets the benefit of the doubt when it comes to rankings. This is the face of college football and it sure looks good.

In a sport of what-have-you-done-for-me-lately mentality, somehow USC still lives off its reputation.

People remember the landslide Leinart-Bush campaign way back in ‘04, however Corp-McKnight wont go as far, especially if their depleted defensive unit doesn’t step up.

6. Ohio State Buckeyes - The Guy Who Dates Freshmen

Everyone knows that guy. He preys on the starstruck frosh girls and uses his Senior mystique to lure them in. Its unfair really. And pretty lame. Kinda like Ohio St continually overwhelming the soft Big Ten, which has only gotten more prepubescent after Michigan’s recent downfall.

Just consider that the Big Ten is 6-16 in the past 3 bowl seasons.

The Buckeyes may seem like ballers with high win totals, but just like “that guy” their game is weak. They will get rejected when they venture outside their sphere of influence.

7. TCU Horned Frogs - The New Kid

He’s kinda mysterious, kinda makes you nervous… The new guy who is soft spoken but you don’t wanna mess with him because of the unknown.

Hailing from the “lesser” Mountain West conference, this squad returns sack master Jerry Hughes (15 conquests in 08), and their starting QB, Andy Dalton, from last year.

However, this “new guy” may be around for a while. They are prepped for the future as freshman QB Casey Pachall has already been controversially labeled better than the incumbent Dalton.

8. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets - The Overachiever

Coach Paul Johnson does one thing and does it well, The Triple Option. Like anyone who knows their limits, they do what they know and they execute it to perfection.

They may not have the flashy 5 star recruits or a fancy pro-style offense, but the Jackets run you over with bread-and-butter.

ACC player of the year, RB Jonathan Dwyer, will look to tote the rock again with the rest of the backfield (RBs Lucas Cox and Roddy Jones with QB Josh Nesbitt).

9. Oklahoma St Cowboys- The Whats-His-Face

The Cowboys seem to continuously get lost in the crowd, with Texas and Oklahoma hogging the spotlight. But do not forget the name Dez Bryant.

He may be the best WR in the NCAA and was underappreciated last year even with 1480 yards and 19 TDs. For those of you scoring at home, that’s the same number of TDs and 315 more yards than top 10 draft pick Michael Crabtree posted a season ago.

QB Zac Robinson is more mobile than you think and they also return 1500 yard rusher Kendall Hunter. If the defense can hold teams to less than 35, the offense will score enough to make you remember Ok St in 2009.

10. Ole Miss Rebels - The Sweet Talker

Yes, ok… Im jumping on the Ole Miss bandwagon. They’ve talked me into it. Huston Nutt and his boys look to make the leap from SEC also-ran to Title contender in Nutt’s second year.

Victories over Florida and Texas Tech last year scream that this team is ready. QB Jevan Snead’s play has convinced even pro scouts that he should be considered a No 1 draft pick in 2010.

Dexter McCluster speaks in many tongues, playing at multiple positions on offense, while DE Greg Hardy dominates the conversation on defense.