With the 2008 NFL Draft only days away, I foresee multiple trades going down in the days leading up to the draft. The Miami Dolphins may think they are being suspenseful, but I can do one better. Based on insider information, here are 10 likely trades that will happen.
10. The Dolphins will trade the #1 pick in the NFL Draft to the Minnesota Vikings in exchange for all remaining Duante Culpepper replica jerseys. The Dolphins will save tons of money in the long term--instead of shelling out $60 million to Jake Long, they will only be on the hook for the small sales tax of each jersey, which should equal out to a grand total of.....nothing! Plus, they can have Daunte Appreciation Fan Days for the next 12 years.
9. The Chiefs will gain a much-needed boost to their running game by shipping out the overrated Larry Johnson and Tony Ganzalez to the Arizona Cardinals for the future rights to Emmitt Smith.
8. The Minnesota Vikings, busy again, trade QB Tavaris Jackson, RB Adrian Peterson, and 3 future 1st round draft picks to the Atlanta Falcons for the rights to star QB Michael Vick.
7. The Oakland Raiders trade the retired Warren Sapp to the Edmonton Oilers for a key-chain.
6. The Atlanta Falcons, discontented with new QB Tavaris Jackson, draft Boston College star Matt Ryan, then prompty trade him to the Carolina Panthers who offer what Arthur Blank deemed an "irresistable package" that includes two 7th round picks, a future 6th round pick, and season tickets to see the Charlotte Bobcats.
5. The Dallas Cowboys draft Felix Jones from Arkansas, then trade him and Tony Romo to the Miami Dolphins for a week-long vacation on Miami Beach. Parcells throws in Dolphins season tickets, which Wade Phillips donates to a local girl scout organization.
4. The New York Jets send QB Chad Pennington to the San Diego Chargers for QB Philip Rivers, RB LaDanien Tomlinson, DE Shawne Merriman, and 8 future 1st round draft picks. To entice the Jets to bite on the trade, the Chargers structure a new contract for Pennington, which includes a $70 billion signing bonus. Norv Turner cites "arm strength" and "championship experience" in the controversial decision.
3. The Buffalo Bills draft Hawaii QB Colt Brennan in a surprise move in the 1st round, then promptly trade his rights to the New York Knicks for the coaching rights to....Isaiah Thomas! Wow!
2. In a shocking turn of events, the New York Giants re-sign Tiki Barber to a 7 year deal, and package him, Eli Manning, Brandon Jacobs, and 15 future 1st round picks to the Kansas City Chiefs for star QB Brodie Croyle and two VIP tickets to the next Kansas City Royals home game.
1. The biggest trade of them all...The Patriots, convinced Tom Brady is just not championship material, package Brady, Randy Moss, Richard Seymour, Wes Welker, Lawrence Maroney and 25 future 1st round draft picks to the San Diego Chargers for...NORV TURNER! What a move! The Patriots GM is immediately hailed as a genius and is named the world's top CEO!
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2 months ago
Great Article! Very FUnny. LOL
2 months ago
In the words, of a great commercial.
"Great googley moogley."
Great read....scary part, is I can see Norv doing a bone-headed deal this year....either benching LT for speaking his mind, Antonio Gates for not playing injured, or trying to trade off Philip Rivers, for someone, who will give them better results...like Kerry Collins.
2 months ago
I'd only do the Brady trade if the Bolts included the rights to Marty Shottenheimer. It's obvious the Pats need a challenge these days and I think two brain dead coaches would provide that.
2 months ago
Yawnage......This dude has way too much time on his hands (shrug)
2 months ago
Seriously, what gave you the idea that this would be a good article?
"Based on insider information", thats so corny dude.
from 2 months ago
you're corny dude
about 1 month ago
Whoooaaa! Nice comeback kid. I'm guessing you're around 12 years old.
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