Athletes' Wives: Hotness-to-Talent Ratios That Confuse Us

One is quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. The other averaged 2.6 ppg last year. If this isn't the weirdest pairing ever, I don't know what is.

At least half the men reading this right now not only believe that they are better looking than Jaric, but also that they probably could beat him in a game of one-on-one, which is why this drives us nuts more than any other couple on the list.

Hulse was a career journeyman in the NHL who never scored double-digit goals in a season. Nolin was on Baywatch.

I have no idea how this happened. Maybe she was attracted to the opportunity to live in such luxurious locations as Calgary, Nashville, and Columbus.

Mark only batted over .300 once in his career, never made an all-star team, and never hit even 20 home runs in a season. He was a very average player, yet somehow he managed to land this extreme hottie.

She was somewhat of an urban legend around the baseball world. Everyone kept talking about how Mark Kotsay had the hottest wife, but nobody could find a picture of her. Thankfully the word got out enough that we now have pictures like this to appreciate Mrs. Kotsay appropriately.

Kris Benson has a career record of 69-74. His career ERA is 4.40.

You might wonder how such a bad pitcher snagged such a beautiful woman.

It's because she is crazy. Cuh-RAZY.

The sports world found that out in 2006 when she announced to everyone that if Kris ever cheated on her, she would sleep with the entire New York Mets organization, including the bat boy.

In an unrelated story around that time, applications to be a bat boy for the Mets quadrupled.

Archuleta came into the league in 2001 and was out of the NFL by 2008. So naturally he is married to a former Playboy Playmate.

That totally makes sense, right?

Although once a Pro Bowl quarterback, Garcia became the ultimate fill-in. On his sixth team in seven years, Garcia is good enough to threaten for a starting spot, but never good enough where teams feel all right about him being their starting QB.

Still, no way is Garcia talented enough to merit being married to Carmella DeCesare. Another former Playmate, DeCesare's name is already too sexy for Garcia.

Remember when Terrell Owens implied that Garcia was gay? Uh, yeah Terrell, you want to rethink that statement?

Never a power hitter, Podsednik was mostly known for his speed around the base paths. Dergan, of course, was known for being a former Playboy Playmate.

On their first date, Podsednik stole second base, which he claims as his greatest achievement to date.

Although he is well known for his series-winning home run against the Red Sox, Aaron Boone never was much of a player. He was a career .264 hitter who never batted over .300.

Yet somehow he managed to settle down with a Playboy Playmate (at this point, I think it would be easier to point out which wives were NOT former Playmates).

Boston fans hate him, and he is commonly referred to as Aaron Effing Boone, but I think they would hate him even more if they knew just exactly who he was effing.

Let's face it, unless Tim Couch was married to Janet Reno, his wife was going to be hotter than he was talented. He was one of the biggest busts in NFL history. Not only that, but he was just a simple hick from Kentucky. How did he manage to marry a Playmate?

Good for her too. Anytime you get a chance to hook up with a guy who is best known for crying when his fans booed him during a game, you can't pass on that.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not only hot, but is also far more successful in life than her backup quarterback husband. If she had married his brother, Matt, maybe this would have made more sense.

Instead, Tim somehow managed to impress her back in 2002 when he was just on the Eagles' practice squad and not even on the team!

Can somebody tell me what it is about Playmates and irrelevant athletes? Glenn Cadrez was a no-name defensive player who was out of the NFL when he met and got engaged to Roderick.

For the hotness to talent ratio to balance out, she would have to be married to John Elway and Jerry Rice at the same time.

Kendra was made famous by her "work" on the show Girls Next Door and made known her love for football and the San Diego Chargers. So obviously, the Playmate would end up married to...a backup WR for the Eagles?

I guess any athlete is a step up from Hef.

Check out The Definitive List of the 60 Hottest Women In Sports Movies!