Job Opening in Cleveland

Chris MurphyAnalyst IJune 1, 2009

ORLANDO, FL - MAY 30:  LeBron James #23 of the Cleveland Cavaliers reacts after a play against the Orlando Magic in Game Six of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2009 Playoffs at Amway Arena on May 30, 2009 in Orlando, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Company: The Cleveland Cavaliers
Position: Guard/Forward/Center
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Job Status: Seasonal
Salary: Probably too much

Ad Expires: As soon as Lebron James leaves Cleveland

 

Description

Assistant basketball player with skill and eyes which do more than watch Lebron James' work needed.  Multiple open positions.  In search for shooting guard who can speak proper English and can shoot a high percentage from beyond the three-point line for an entire season (playoffs included). 

Also looking for a power forward and/or center who has any type of post presence while playing some, if any, defense against good big men.  All applicants must have good repoire with Lebron James, as he is the only person on the bench who does any type of coaching. 

Qualifications

-Self-starter

-College experience preferred

-High SAT and ACT scores required, even if taken by someone else

-Experience with a winning NBA team preferred

-Good ball-handling skills required to allow Lebron to run off the ball

-High three-point percentage in both corners for when Lebron does drive and dish out

-Please God be a little better to look at than Delonte West

-Tattoos required

If applying for big man position, please have normal hair and move faster than a dead turtle.

Do not apply if your nickname is "The Birdman"; too many employees at our company have the same game as you.



The Clevaland Cavaliers is an equal opportunity employer.



When applying, mention you saw this opening listed at BleacherReport.com.